Jump to content

my blog


Feeling Derailed

Posted by missophelia , 05 May 2010 · 33 views

Today has been a little better for me. I didnít get much sleep, so I napped today. That helped.

I had a nightmare last night, but it wasnít too bad. I was working, and left the watch floor to use the bathroom. When I went around the corner, he was there. I tried to walk around him, but he moved in front of me. And he didnít say anything. He just s...



Posted by missophelia , 04 May 2010 · 38 views

I am putting a warning on this. It isnít censored, and it may upset you. It may not. Just please read with caution, and take care of yourself.

Today was not a very good day. And I hope Iím not going to have difficulty writing. Because I need to write this out.

Every morning, as I drink my coffee, I listen to the local news on the radio. Itís just...


A Good Session, A Good Day

Posted by missophelia , 03 May 2010 · 27 views

My session today went really well. I left feeling a little lighter. Which is always good.

First I told Dr H about my follow up with the oral surgeon. She said she was glad everything was healing up.

I told her about the man in the store, who stood behind me staring, and how he reminded me of him. And I told her about the nightmare Iíd had. We tal...


The Picture and What It Means--To Me

Posted by missophelia , 02 May 2010 · 28 views

Today was a pretty good day. I was up early. Laundry to do. After my trip to Dunkiní Donuts, I got going on some cleaning. And I kept my mind off of the feelings Iíve been struggling with the past couple of days.

I got quite a bit done today. Iím actually quite satisfied with the progress Iím making on cleaning the junk out of my house. I got rid o...


Doubt and a Dream

Posted by missophelia , 01 May 2010 · 29 views

I didnít sleep well last night. I actually fell asleep ok, but I had a nightmare, so I probably got about 3 hours of sleep.

It was just him staring at me, and that smothering feeling. Just me on the Navy base, working, going to dinner, doing rounds, talking to friends. And seeing his stare everywhere, right in front of my eyes. Then everything in my...


Not Convinced

Posted by missophelia , 30 April 2010 · 37 views

Last night, as I was laying in bed, I started thinking.

I had a hard time falling asleep, and when I did sleep, I was restless. So, before I got to sleep, I was just thinking. Not about anything in particular, but also about the past couple of years. Where I was, and where Iím going.

I ended up getting back up, and then I ended up reading over some o...


The Visit

Posted by missophelia , 29 April 2010 · 34 views

Today was better than yesterday. I slept well last night. I didnít get a ton of sleep, but what I got did me good.

I had some running around to do. Pick up some groceries--things I can eat without teeth. I still canít understand this--someone I know said she knows someone who has dentures. But she said he doesnít wear them most of the time. And she...


Today I Struggled

Posted by missophelia , 28 April 2010 · 29 views

Today I struggled some.

I didnít sleep well last night. I hate it--itís almost like clockwork--after I see a cop or someone who reminds me of him, I have trouble sleeping that night. I usually have some kind of nightmare.

I tried to think of positives before I went to sleep last night. I was just restless, and I had those vague dreams with that smoth...


Facing The Scary

Posted by missophelia , 27 April 2010 · 19 views

I donít like facing my fears. But I have done lots of that in the past few months. Sometimes Iím successful. Sometimes Iím not.

I still struggle when confronted by a cop. I think thatís one of my biggest fears, because it is still such a huge trigger. Dr H and I have talked about cops being safe, being there to protect, being who they are with no co...


Guilt, Work, Dealing...

Posted by missophelia , 26 April 2010 · 21 views

I had a good session today. It was light, like most of my week was. It felt good to have a light session. It almost seemed informal. More like we were friends having coffee. A little weird, but a nice break from the usual.

Dr H and I talked about a few things, like the things my aunt and I talked about. But we also talked about my working as a cn...

Blog Warning

This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

September 2015

  12 3 45

Recent Entries

Recent Comments


    2 user(s) viewing

    0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

    Bing (1)

    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

    2 user(s) viewing

    0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

    Bing (1)

    Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.