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dealing with my father--tomorrow's a start

Posted by missophelia , 27 June 2010 · 62 views

Today was pretty much a good day. I was up early, like every Sunday, took laundry to the laundromat. I always go early on Sundays because thereís no one else there. So I donít have to wait, or have to be in a crowd in there.

I made my quick bread. It was delicious. I had it with a cup of tea this morning. Through the course of the day, Iíve eaten a...


being ok, feeling uncertain

Posted by missophelia , 26 June 2010 · 78 views

So, today wasnít bad. It was pretty good. The weather was beautiful outside. Maybe weíre going to have a nice summer. Last summer, the weather was horrible. Cold, rainy, damp. There was blight, potatoes and tomatoes. And thatís basically all we plant. So, we got nothing.

Hopefully, weíll get something good to eat this year.

I went down to the sh...


tired, but happy (for a change)

Posted by missophelia , 25 June 2010 · 85 views

It seems like itís been a long day. Most of it has been good. I guess Iím just tired.

I was up early. I didnít sleep well, had one of those suffocating dreams again. I hate those. Canít I say enough already? If I have to keep having them, why canít they stop being so vague sometimes. I know what theyíre about, so why donít my dreams just come out...


why I sometimes wish I could stop thinking

Posted by missophelia , 24 June 2010 · 82 views

I feel like I wasted the day today. I got caught up with my thinking, and I donít think it did me any good.

I started the day by trying to do some more sketching. I like some of what Iíve done these past few days. Some Iím not thrilled with. But with all of them, I feel like I couldíve done better. I know, Iím my own worst critic.

Anyway, I didní...


up and down

Posted by missophelia , 23 June 2010 · 85 views

My day today has been pretty good, compared to my days lately. Iíve been able to stay more positive today, although it hasn't all been so positive. Iím not feeling as down, although when I sat down a little while ago, after getting everything done today, I felt a little let down. But I think it was just from being done and coming home to this house...


just down

Posted by missophelia , 22 June 2010 · 70 views

Iíve been a little better today. Not a whole lot, but some. I would have thought the rain this afternoon would have brought me down more than I am, but itís actually quite soothing. I canít explain how it made me feel, but it relaxed me.

Iíve just been kind of down today. Luckily I got a little sleep last night, but not much. But it was more than I...


it feels so hard

Posted by missophelia , 21 June 2010 · 78 views

Itís been a rough day. I have had moments that Iíve felt ok, but I think itís from forcing myself to. Itís like Iíve been trying to force everything other than happiness out of my mind. I think I've even been trying to convince myself that nothing is wrong. That I'm feeling "great". But I'm not.

I had a nightmare last night. Lat...


I got through it

Posted by missophelia , 20 June 2010 · 68 views

Well, today wasnít too long, thankfully. I donít think it was as bad as it could have been. I donít know.

My aunt called this morning, and told me everyone was going down to her house. The house with the pool, and that uncle. I wasnít very happy to be going there, but I was glad she called me and let me know before I got dressed. I was planning to t...


so he called....now what

Posted by missophelia , 19 June 2010 · 74 views

Today has been better than yesterday. I got some more yard work done. It was beautiful today. Tomorrow itís supposed to rain.

Itís been a little hard to concentrate on much of anything, because Iíve been flooded with memories all day long. Not good ones. Memories of my father. Things I guess Iíve blocked all this time, because maybe it was too much...


I lost it....well, kind of

Posted by missophelia , 18 June 2010 · 79 views

Right now I feel like an idiot, and Iím having a hard time convincing myself Iím not.

My day started out ok. It was beautiful out, sunny and warm. So I decided to do some yard work, water the flowers and that kind of stuff. Then I had a freak out.

A bumblebee came flying right toward me. I donít like bees, because I donít like pain. So, I got up an...

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This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

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    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

    1 user(s) viewing

    0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

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