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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

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bellachai, jmsclayton, Lucchia and 2 others like this

The outcome of my day

08 January 2010
Posted by missophelia  
My day didn't start out wonderfully, but I wasn't expecting wonderful after yesterday.

I didn't sleep well. I had bad dreams, all sort of disjointed, pieces of different memories maybe. I did have my smothering dreams again. Dreams that are vague, but leaving me with the feeling that I'm being smothered. I think I know why I...
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Struggling with this

07 January 2010
Posted by missophelia  
trigger warning

I don't understand how my mind, my memories can be so selective. Right now I am in a high state of anxiety, and I wonder if any of this is worth the struggle. I'm stressing myself out so much, I feel like taking my meds and sleeping for a week.

I don't talk to anyone, except Dr H, about being raped, and all I've...
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The Secret Life of Bees

06 January 2010
Posted by missophelia  
I spent several minutes thumbing through this book in the grocery store, and thought, what the heck. It is set in the year I was born, so that was one of the first things that drew me to it. That and the first page.

So I bought this book about 3 weeks ago, but hadn't yet begun to read, mainly because my attention span is quite limited...
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OK

05 January 2010
Posted by missophelia  
So maybe I'm not a complete failure.

After I posted last night, I felt so much better. I guess I just needed to get some of my pent up frustration and anger out. I shouldn't have aimed it all at myself.

Besides being angry, this whole past week I've wanted to cry.

But I don't let myself.

I told Dr H that, and she asked me why...
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Failure

04 January 2010
Posted by missophelia  
With a capital F. I'm a big, fat, fucking failure. There. I said it. That's how I feel tonight. I won't apologize.

Twice today I've been told I shouldn't feel that way. But I do. Everybody can just deal with that.

I talked things out with Dr H, about my nightmare, about my dental and financial problems. She was (is)...
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Not looking forward

03 January 2010
Posted by missophelia  
To tomorrow.

At least I'm a LITTLE rested--got SOME sleep last night, but none too terribly restful. Hoping to get more tonight.

Three things tomorrow:

1. THERAPY

Therapy is no walk in the park for me.

I know Dr H is going to say--"how are you?" and then, "how was your week?" That's always how she starts. I...
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after the aftermath

02 January 2010
Posted by missophelia  
The aftermath of my dental appointment--a horrible nightmare that night.
I haven't had one that bad in a while. It was two nights ago, and it's still vivid in my mind.
When I woke I felt like I had just been raped, it was so scary. It was so realistic that I could feel him all over me.
I ended up with all the lights in the house on,...
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Thank you

01 January 2010
Posted by missophelia  
To you all for fixing the blog dates. I appreciate it

:)

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I'm trying something

31 December 2009
Posted by missophelia  
just trying this to see if it will post
I changed the date to Dec 31 2009

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Good and Bad

31 December 2009
Posted by missophelia  
So, I made it through my dental appointment, just barely.

I took my anxiety med before I went, so I was a little relaxed. The dentist was very nice. Dr H had suggested that I tell him I have some fear of dental procedures, so I did. Of course, he thought my fear was all about pain.

That was fine with me. I didn't have to go into detail...
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bellachai, jmsclayton, Lucchia and 2 others like this

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This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

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