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anger and anxiety

Posted by missophelia , 17 July 2010 · 88 views

Well, the a/c has felt wonderful all day. Right now itís storming out, but itís still humid. Hopefully it will cool off some tonight.

A and I were supposed to go to Dennyís today, after she got her TB test read. But that didnít work. I sent A to the hospital while I stayed home.

She gave me her creeping crud!! Most of the day Iíve been lyin...



Posted by missophelia , 16 July 2010 · 85 views

Today was good. All except for the heat. But I have a/c now!!! I finally got off my butt and pulled the one out of the corner, and put it in a window. Itís not huge, and wonít make it icy cold in here. But itís better than this heat!!!

So, I worked today. It was just a short job, a little more than 3 hours. It felt good, it...


round 2: a real eye opener

Posted by missophelia , 15 July 2010 · 85 views

Today I took a step for A. I again confronted my mother on the phone. And again, I came away with the same feeling. Powerful, at peace, a little victorious. I felt I had to, because if I hadnít I would be a mess right now. I had to speak my mind.

My mother wants to buy A a junker. Her reasoning--she wants to teach A a lesson. She wants A to prove...



Posted by missophelia , 14 July 2010 · 80 views

Today has been different. Itís been good. I didnít do a whole lot, just worked on my painting, and got some groceries.

But it feels like everything is different. I mean, from how I feel, to the way I see the world. Of course, I havenít had a run in with any cops lately, so Iím not sure how different I would feel about that. Thereís still lots of wor...


wow what a rush !

Posted by missophelia , 13 July 2010 · 88 views

Now I know what slaying the dragon feels like.

I had it out with my mother, in a big way. To make the back story short, A is going to get a car. My mother asked if I could help her look. We found a good, reasonably priced car today, called her, and then the fun began.

The conversation ended up going round and round. But from the start, I voiced my o...


some peace

Posted by missophelia , 12 July 2010 · 83 views

Today was actually an ok day. I was up at 5 this morning. I had to leave early for therapy. But it was ok.

Therapy made me feel good today. We spent almost all of our time talking about my mother. What made it feel good was how Dr H validated the way I feel about my mother.

I havenít written this here before, but we discussed last Christmas.



here we go again

Posted by missophelia , 11 July 2010 · 83 views

Most of today has been mellow for me. The humidityís been down some. Itís supposed to be back up again tomorrow, but I have therapy, and the VA should be air conditioned.

I worked a little on my painting. I think it will take a little while to complete. Itís really got no end to it, until I feel that itís done. Which is a process Iíve never used. B...


realization after a long day

Posted by missophelia , 10 July 2010 · 86 views

Today was better than yesterday, but only slightly. I didnít do much today. Iíve had no drive to do anything, and my energy level has been low. My desire has been almost zero.

But today has been better. For some reason I feel a little better than I did yesterday. Iím still angry, and Iíve been working very hard at trying to let at least some of it g...



Posted by missophelia , 09 July 2010 · 90 views

Three panels.

Picture of my mother, to the left.

Picture of his face, to the right.

The word speak, in the middle.

Red paint brushed over my mother.

Red paint brushed over his face.

A black x painted over the word speak.

Would creating this help me with the way I feel? I donít know. Dr H says I can use my art to express how I feel, my anger, my p...


better than yesterday

Posted by missophelia , 08 July 2010 · 89 views

Today was definitely better than yesterday. I got a lot of support here, and I know that helped. I canít begin to tell you all how much it means to me. So, thanks everyone. :)

After I posted my blog last night, I kind of slept off and on. I felt kind of out of it. I was up early this morning, had some coffee. But then I lay back down, and slept...

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This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

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    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

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