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so tired, and hurting...

Posted by missophelia , 15 October 2013 · 239 views

TW for talk of suicide. Please take gentle care of your self if you decide to read.

I am so tired. Physically, and emotionally. And of everything I go through and do every day.

And my body hurts. I feel ravaged by something inside of me. The lyme disease is not being kind.

I am trying a change in my diet to help with the symptoms. But it is slow going. And for the first time in over 2 years, I have been having pain as related to my IBS, because the lyme has changed something in my system.

But beyond all of that, I am tired of all I am trying to do in regards to my healing, and the fact that I am not making much progress.

I got triggered the other day, I wrote about it in my last blog post. I then had a nightmare. A pretty bad one.

I have been pretty badly depressed. I still am.

And I have been feeling suicidal. I still am feeling that way.

I am just so tired, and hurting. Physically, emotionally, and mentally.

I saw my psych doc this afternoon. Tomorrow morning, I have therapy.

Today, my psych doc asked me, and wondered aloud, if I need to be hospitalized. And she said out loud, that giving me medication at this point is out of the question. Guess me exceeding the prescribed dosage is a concern of hers.

I am just so tired, and I am hurting. In all ways possible.

I have all of those same feelings. I always thought I was alone with them though. I am so tired of being strong for everyone else and putting on a smile so no one thinks theres anything wrong with me. But I guess people like us have to stay together..right?
Oct 15 2013 06:15 PM
I am so sorry missophelia. I wish I could take it all away for you. You sound so exhausted. What you are coping with is so exhausting. I am here and PM me any time if you need a shoulder to lean on :hug: :hug:

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This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

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    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

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