I haven't had to deal with urges like this in such a long time.
Part of my therapy homework this week is to put my tool somewhere where it isn't readily accessible in the middle of the night.
I don't know if I can do that, because I'm having some pretty big urges to SI right now.
On top of the pain I've been having, my car broke down on the highway today.
So, I have that to worry about. It's either the engine, or maybe the fuel pump. I don't know.
On top of that, I've been feeling triggered to stuff surrounding the rapes.
Which is triggering some horrible feelings about myself.
I want the urges to SI to go away.
And I know how to make them.