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Posted by missophelia , 16 April 2013 · 77 views

The lack of control I feel in my life right now is a little overwhelming. My emotions, my finances, my relationships. It's a little scary. I feel pressure and stress, and my emotions just seem to runaway from me.

I get down on myself, and feel like a failure. Because I am not managing anything in my life well. And that doesn't even have anything to do with my SI'ing. I know that that is not the best way to cope, but at this point, I don't feel like a failure for giving in again. It is how I am coping.

And I hate to admit something else.

Most of the time, I feel like I have no control over the rapes. Something reminds me of him, or of those nights, and when my mind goes there, I find myself filled with all of those feelings, and thoughts, and beliefs, that he left me with.



Blog Warning

This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

July 2016

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    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

    40 user(s) viewing

    0 members, 40 guests, 0 anonymous users

    Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.