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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!
There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!
There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!
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My tumblr blog writing for the evening, if anyone cares to read.
http://artlifehealing.tumblr.com/
I feel lost. I feel like I'm so just out of place, or something like that. And I know part of it is some depression.
I haven't been blogging much, and I really can't get myself to. When I start, I delete what I've written. And then I give up.
But I am doing my homework for therapy. As if that's some kind of consolation...yeah, right.
I think the trauma processing is partly what's affecting me. And maybe that's a good thing? I mean, maybe I'm "walking through the pain," and all of that crap, and when I come out the other side, I'll be miraculously healed?
No, I don't think so. At least not on the miraculously healed part.
But maybe it's all affecting me, and how I am feeling now, maybe this is just fallout from the therapy work, and maybe it's to be expected. And the good thing is that the trauma processing will help more in the end than it is hurting me right now.
If that makes sense.
I don't know if this work is supposed to be this difficult. I get the idea that it is supposed to be. I just still, and always will, not be ok with why it has to be so hard for us as survivors. Somehow, that doesn't seem fair.
Still, I feel very uneasy, if that's the word, with the fact that I can't get myself to write more. It has always been such a comfort for me, so helpful. And I feel like my ability to just write has been pulled out from underneath me. On top of everything else I am struggling with, I don't like struggling with being able to write.
I don't even know what I'm trying to say anymore. I guess just that I hate where I am at right now.
http://artlifehealing.tumblr.com/
I feel lost. I feel like I'm so just out of place, or something like that. And I know part of it is some depression.
I haven't been blogging much, and I really can't get myself to. When I start, I delete what I've written. And then I give up.
But I am doing my homework for therapy. As if that's some kind of consolation...yeah, right.
I think the trauma processing is partly what's affecting me. And maybe that's a good thing? I mean, maybe I'm "walking through the pain," and all of that crap, and when I come out the other side, I'll be miraculously healed?
No, I don't think so. At least not on the miraculously healed part.
But maybe it's all affecting me, and how I am feeling now, maybe this is just fallout from the therapy work, and maybe it's to be expected. And the good thing is that the trauma processing will help more in the end than it is hurting me right now.
If that makes sense.
I don't know if this work is supposed to be this difficult. I get the idea that it is supposed to be. I just still, and always will, not be ok with why it has to be so hard for us as survivors. Somehow, that doesn't seem fair.
Still, I feel very uneasy, if that's the word, with the fact that I can't get myself to write more. It has always been such a comfort for me, so helpful. And I feel like my ability to just write has been pulled out from underneath me. On top of everything else I am struggling with, I don't like struggling with being able to write.
I don't even know what I'm trying to say anymore. I guess just that I hate where I am at right now.
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This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.
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You are right, It isn't fair that it's this hard. None of this is fair, that any of this even happened to you in the first place.
I went through a period of not being able to write either, I just wasn't in that headspace. It will pass. For now you are doing the homework, and even though you say that's no consolation, I think it is huge that you are doing it. Maybe the homework is draining you too much to do the writing you normally do. You only have so much energy to give to things, right? You are doing the homework, and that's a big deal. Don't minimize it, it is something to be proud of. The writing will come back, for sure