Still Hanging In There
I just need to learn what to do with it, in a positive way, so that it doesn't fester inside of me.
A is still hanging in there too. She had therapy today. Before she went in, she told me she didn't want to see her therapist anymore. She said there was nothing for her to talk about.
Thing is, a while back she showed me a check list of things abusive partners do. She had several things circled. The one that threw me most was--being forced into sexual acts against your will. I feel so bad for her, and I just want to cry. I'm sure it causes her pain, and for what she's been through, I wish more than anything that I could take that pain away.
I had such an awfully hard time reading through the list. I'd really love to get my hands on the guy! I'd show him some pain.
It's such a positive thing for her to be in therapy, so I was hoping she wouldn't end therapy today. She's told me that nothing on that check list that she circled bothers her. But I just know those things do. It shows in the ways she acts.
So, I was very happy when she came out of her session with another appointment. She said she found things to talk about with her therapist. I know I smiled inside.
I know you can't force someone into therapy, so I've just been trying to gently encourage her. I've also let her know that she can come to me if she wants to talk. Although, I would have a horribly difficult time talking to my mother about being raped.
I guess, overall, it's been an OK day.