Strange Feeling, Strange Day
I don't handle my anger well. So it's a strange feeling for me. And because I don't handle it well, it usually turns to anxiety. But sometimes it hides deep inside of me, until it explodes in rage. Which is very scary for me.
So, when I feel anger I usually wind up a mess of raw nerves and inability to function.
But today, there's been this anger kind of just hanging on. My anxiety level has been low, which is a good thing. Lately I've had so much anxiety I haven't been able to function.
Remarkably, I feel calm. I haven't felt like I was going to fly into a rage, and I haven't felt like I was going to fall apart. It's been a strange day, almost surreal.
So, I've been trying to figure out why I'm angry, or what I'm angry about.
It isn't my fault. I didn't want it. I didn't deserve it. I am not dirty.
There may be hope for me yet.