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Helpless

Posted by missophelia , 27 January 2010 · 34 views

I'm tired of feeling helpless.

Everything makes me feel helpless. Anxiety. Depression. Nightmares. Flashbacks. Panic Attacks. Every one of those paralyzes me and makes me feel completely helpless.

I want it to change. I want to feel strong. I want to feel confident. I want to be able to have the kind of life that I should be entitled to.

A happy, "normal", life. Where I can go places and do things, enjoy things--enjoy life--without feeling so helpless.

Now I just need to figure out how.

It isn't my fault. I didn't want it. I didn't deserve it. I am not dirty.

I'm trying. :)



i no how you feel, i dont feel like things are gettin any easyer its been 2 years and i still cant sleep and hav flash backs .
so i no how you feel
xxx
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missophelia
Jan 27 2010 07:07 PM
smithy

I understand how you feel, and it helps me to know that you understand how I feel. Do you have a therapist? I can't say things are sooo much better for me, but being in therapy and using Pandy's is very helpful.

And welcome to Pandy's. You'll find lots of support here. It's a great place to be.

Take gentle care of your self
i understand you too.. Its hard to be able to feel the same when you kind of worry about how wrong things have been or felt..

Its been almost 5 years, and i still go through so much. Especially because my mom never left him. :blush: im trying as well, and i hope BEST for you! Take care :heart:

-Elena.
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missophelia
Jan 27 2010 07:51 PM
Elena

Thanks for the support.

I'm sorry for what you've been through, especially since it sounds like your mom didn't give you the support you needed.

I hope the best for you, too.

take gentle care of your self
Oh my dear, I so hate to hear you are going through the same feelings I have been going through for 46 years. The good side it has not been a constant. I have had some major stressors in life that have brought about triggers. It is only now that I am understanding so much about myself and the way I have handled things in my life has been so much about the abuse and I did not even realize it until now. Although I seemed to have finally found peace and solace. I am much more comfortable in my own skin now. Of course I still have the depression off and on and the occasional feelings of inadequacy, but it is the fear that I have let go of and that seems to have allowed me to find my power that I have been searching for since I lost it as a child. I hope and pray you will too but much sooner than I did.

God Bless and Be Well!
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missophelia
Jan 27 2010 08:02 PM
kimra

Thank you for the kind words. It sounds like you've been through so much. It also sounds like you have come far.

You give me hope that someday I can find peace and solace too.

take gentle care of your self
Keep saying the words. And I think you are stronger, braver, and more confident then you think you are.

I want what you want too :)
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missophelia
Jan 28 2010 06:44 PM
chelirach

Thank you for the encouragement. :)

I hope that you too can get what you want.

Blog Warning

This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

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    Blog Warning

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