It happened again
I was trying to get my Christmas shopping done.
I was already feeling the anxiety from the crowds.
Then I walked to the front of the store.
There they were, two cops.
Men in uniform is a huge trigger.
I retreated to the bathroom, but it didn't help.
I hid in the back of the store for a while, feeling the crowd close in around me.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him again.
In his uniform, smiling at me, watching me.
And I couldn't do anything about it.
Luckily, by the time the crowds got to be so overwhelming, the cops were gone.
But I didn't stay.
I left my stuff, and the store.
I rushed home, to the refuge of my house, and my pills.
I feel so useless, so stupid, to let the cops bother me like that.
Now I just feel incapable of functioning like a normal human being.