Jump to content






Photo

It happened again

Posted by missophelia , 19 December 2009 · 18 views

I thought I saw him again today.
I was trying to get my Christmas shopping done.
I was already feeling the anxiety from the crowds.
Then I walked to the front of the store.
There they were, two cops.
In uniform.
Men in uniform is a huge trigger.
I retreated to the bathroom, but it didn't help.
I hid in the back of the store for a while, feeling the crowd close in around me.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him again.
In his uniform, smiling at me, watching me.
And I couldn't do anything about it.
Luckily, by the time the crowds got to be so overwhelming, the cops were gone.
But I didn't stay.
I left my stuff, and the store.
I rushed home, to the refuge of my house, and my pills.
I feel so useless, so stupid, to let the cops bother me like that.
Now I just feel incapable of functioning like a normal human being.



Blog Warning

This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

July 2014

S M T W T F S
  12345
6789101112
13141516171819
2021 22 23242526
2728293031  

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Tags

    0 user(s) viewing

    0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

    0 user(s) viewing

    0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

    Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.