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Thinking ahead

Posted by missophelia , 29 November 2009 · 21 views

It's not like I have anything better to do than think ahead. There's lots I have to keep me occupied, including some housework and trying to make turkey soup from the left overs.

But my mind keeps fast forwarding to tomorrow.

Mondays are my usual days for therapy. Don't get me wrong--Dr. H is helping me. I just hate therapy. I wonder if I'm alone in that feeling.

I've always hated talking about myself. I don't know if it's low self-esteem, or self-consciousness, or what. Maybe it's just that I feel overwhelming vulnerability when I talk about myself. I open myself up for criticism, or to give someone a reason to not like me.

Maybe I just would rather avoid talking about my feelings, the rape, personal stuff that I only talk to Dr. H about. I just dread therapy. I guess I spent twenty years trying to avoid talking about those things, so it shouldn't be some big surprise that I would rather avoid therapy. Of course, if I did back out, all I have to do is to look at the past twenty years to see what the next twenty years would be like.



Blog Warning

This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

July 2014

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    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

    1 user(s) viewing

    0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users


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    Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.