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Just tired

Posted by missophelia , 28 November 2009 · 28 views

I'm not in a good space right now. Last night I hardly slept. I feel sick, and haven't eaten much all day. Just a piece of toast and a cup of tea, which I had trouble getting down.

I went to bed early enough last night, hoping for a good night's sleep. I really need that. I finally managed to fall asleep, after pushing all the thoughts out of my mind. I didn't sleep long before I had a nightmare.

Having to deal with the rape is bad enough, but the nightmares make bad unbearable. Last night was like reliving the whole thing all over again. I woke up wanting to scream.

I always sleep with the my table lamp and the radio on, thanks to him. Last night I turned on every light in the house. It was the only way I felt safe.

Right now I feel like I'm running on empty. I never went back to bed, and I haven't even really napped all day. I just wish I could get a decent night's sleep for once, even if only 4 or 5 hours. I don't think that's too much to ask.

Like I said, I'm not in a good space right now. My thoughts are so negative, about myself, about my life. I just feel depressed, but at the same time panicky. I don't know how much longer I can go on without some decent sleep, and trying to deal with all of my feelings. I don't even know if I make sense.



Blog Warning

This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

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    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

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