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It was a fairly good day. I tried to stay as positive as I could, which is a big effort for me.
I don't like holidays, I haven't in a long time. I just end up feeling more alone. I find myself surrounded by family but feeling so out of place. It's been a long time since I've been truly happy. I have to pretend I'm someone I'm not, and I have a hard time being "festive."
I did manage to eat a little today. Most days I don't each much of anything, if anything at all. Dr. H says that's just another way I have of beating myself up, by not eating. I don't know, I guess it's not too healthy for me to refuse to eat. But I do.
Hope everyone one had a nice Thanksgiving.
I don't like holidays, I haven't in a long time. I just end up feeling more alone. I find myself surrounded by family but feeling so out of place. It's been a long time since I've been truly happy. I have to pretend I'm someone I'm not, and I have a hard time being "festive."
I did manage to eat a little today. Most days I don't each much of anything, if anything at all. Dr. H says that's just another way I have of beating myself up, by not eating. I don't know, I guess it's not too healthy for me to refuse to eat. But I do.
Hope everyone one had a nice Thanksgiving.
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This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.
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