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detached...

Posted by missophelia , 14 August 2013 · 152 views

Feeling detached.

I don't want to be here, or anywhere.

I don't want to do this anymore.


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the past loves to come out to bite me...

Posted by missophelia , 13 August 2013 · 90 views

I didn't get to blog last night. Mondays are hard for me. I have work, and then my women's support group at my VA. Yesterday, I also had therapy, right before my group. So, it's a long day. And since Tuesdays are always an early day, I basically come home, eat, shower, get ready for Tuesday, and go to bed. Doesn't give me much time t...


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highs met by lows....

Posted by missophelia , 11 August 2013 · 92 views

I didn't blog last night. I know I said I would every night, and I would have last night. But instead I was unexpectedly staying at a friend's house. So, instead of being home, I was there, having a good time. I went swimming, had some good food, and learned a new game. Since it was the first time I'd been to her house, and mapquest direc...


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how do I...

Posted by missophelia , 09 August 2013 · 139 views

How do I keep myself from feeling like the biggest loser in the world?

My car has died. So, I need to get a new one. Which I will do this coming week.

With my father's help.

I am 49 years old, and I have to ask my father for help.

Makes me feel like a big fat loser.

I shouldn't need my 71 year old father's help to buy a stinking car....


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so much...

Posted by missophelia , 08 August 2013 · 71 views

There is so much that I find to be triggering to me wanting to SI.

I haven't had to deal with urges like this in such a long time.

Part of my therapy homework this week is to put my tool somewhere where it isn't readily accessible in the middle of the night.

I don't know if I can do that, because I'm having some pretty big urges to SI...


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nice...

Posted by missophelia , 07 August 2013 · 82 views

It would be nice if I could just experience the things other people experience, the way other people experience those things. If I could have the pain from a medical condition be nothing more than pain from a medical condition.

But no. I have pain, and I have to be triggered. It shouldn't matter than I'm having female pain that is like the pai...


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trigger...

Posted by missophelia , 06 August 2013 · 78 views

Feeling triggered.

Pain makes me remember.

I don't want to remember.

Not when remembering leaves me feeling the way I do right now.


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trying...

Posted by missophelia , 05 August 2013 · 60 views

I am trying. I am going to try. I think I am ready to try.

I am going to try and write every day.

A few years ago, I made a vow to myself to blog here, every day. I was going to keep it up for a year.

That lasted a couple of years.

I have to say that it helped me.

No, it really helped me.

Whether I simply wrote about my day, or whether I wr...






Blog Warning

This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

August 2013

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    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

    2 user(s) viewing

    0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

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