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homework for this week....

Posted by missophelia , 30 June 2013 · 64 views

What is beauty.

I don't think you can define beauty, at least, not physical beauty. Everyone's ideal of beauty is different. So, I don't think there's any way you can really define beauty. I don't even know what being “beautiful” in a physical way means, or what it is. Is it a thin body, being tall, slender, having a certain hair...


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homework on change done....

Posted by missophelia , 27 June 2013 · 33 views

This is long...

I have spent the week trying to figure out how I have changed in the past four and a half years. I find it very hard to come to any conclusions about it.

Yes, I can now see that a lot of the beliefs I have are not based in fact. I can say, for example, that the things he said are not true because he is a criminal. He was not someone t...


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dilemma....

Posted by missophelia , 23 June 2013 · 51 views

I want to go back to where I was, to who I was, to what I was, all those years ago….

But I don’t see me ever being there again….

Instead, I only see my depression and anxiety and anger….

Instead, I just want to SI...


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change...

Posted by missophelia , 20 June 2013 · 43 views

How I've changed in the past 4 1/2 years. Since I first started therapy with Dr H. Since I had my breakdown after I was triggered 5 years ago.

That is my homework for therapy.

How am I supposed to do that. Sounds so easy, so simple. All of the positive changes I've made. All of the ways I've changed. For the better.

Yeah, right.....


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existing...

Posted by missophelia , 19 June 2013 · 40 views

I feel like I am just existing.

I haven't blogged here in a while.

It's become very hard for me at times to talk about how I feel. To write it down. To speak.

I feel trapped in my home life. I feel overwhelmed.

I feel my depression and my anxiety, like they are overrunning my life at times.

I feel like I am just existing.

I enjoy little...


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sometimes...

Posted by missophelia , 11 June 2013 · 40 views

click on pic to see larger...



it's about how I feel right now...

I wish I could fly away and never have to come back...


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more feelings...

Posted by missophelia , 10 June 2013 · 38 views

angry....

so angry....


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feelings...

Posted by missophelia , 09 June 2013 · 39 views

confused...

conflicted...


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coming to terms...

Posted by missophelia , 08 June 2013 · 52 views

I have realized that I have not come to terms, in many ways, with being raped.

I am not sure how I feel about that.

Or what to do about it.


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a letter...

Posted by missophelia , 05 June 2013 · 50 views

I wrote a letter today. And sent it.

I have been struggling for so long now. I think I am ready to try and change that.

And I know the change needs to come from within me.

Recently, my new psychiatrist and I worked to find a med for depression that I can take, one that has no triggers for my IBS. We found one. I took it for 4 days. The side effe...






Blog Warning

This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

June 2013

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    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

    0 user(s) viewing

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    Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.