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bellachai, jmsclayton, Lucchia and 2 others like this

the next level...

29 November 2012
Posted by missophelia  
I have been absent from blogging, and being more present here is one of the things I am really trying to do. I know that blogging regularly helped me quite a bit when I did it in the past.

I have been so depressed, and so angry. And I still am. But over the past two days, the depression has become different for me.

It feels a little scarier. ...
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Brutus...

27 November 2012
Posted by missophelia  
There is a tide in the affairs of men.
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.

-William Shakespeare

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slump...

25 November 2012
Posted by missophelia  
I feel like I'm in an awful slump, an awful rut.

I haven't been dealing well with my depression. I basically sit in front of the tv, or the computer, or just sleep. Something has got to change, because I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.

My lady canceled for my cleaning job for tomorrow, and I am thankful. ...
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veterans day....

11 November 2012
Posted by missophelia  
I am your veteran.

I served your country
My country
The United States of America

I am your veteran

But I did not see combat
At least
Not with a gun
Not with a bayonet
Not with a rocket launcher, not with a grenade
I did not fight hand to hand in some foreign land

My scars are real
Yet
Unseen

I am your veteran

My battles were fought
My...
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no words for a title...

08 November 2012
Posted by missophelia  
Trigger warning. Please take care of you.

I'm in a pretty dark place right now.

How do I survive the way I am feeling right now?

How do I get through each day when it is a daily thought, suicide. It's just there, there it is.

How do I find any kind of positivity in my life, or even hope to come back from how I am feeling and...
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beyond struggling...

01 November 2012
Posted by missophelia  
I'm still here. But this is hard. But there you are, I'm still here. Not that I want to be.

Not entirely. But maybe a little.

I'm physically sick.
I'm depressed.
I'm angry.

Very angry.

Whatever.

That's really all I can write.
So why does it feel like a book?

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bellachai, jmsclayton, Lucchia and 2 others like this

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Blog Warning

This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

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    Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.