Jump to content

my blog



Posted by missophelia , 31 January 2013 · 72 views




Like I don't want to be here

Like I don't want to be anywhere

I hate myself


I am here...

Posted by missophelia , 30 January 2013 · 74 views

I am here, but I don't want to be. Every nerve in my body, every fiber within me, is screaming to not post this.

And I don't understand.

For almost two years, I blogged here, every night.

But for some reason, all I want to do lately is to isolate.

I feel like I push others away from me.


And I know that I am holding back fr...



Posted by missophelia , 18 January 2013 · 75 views

Trigger warning for mention of SI and suicidal thought.

I've been struggling again, with urges to SI, and thoughts of suicide. Yesterday, I kept thinking, it's time, I'm done. And my mood keeps fluctuating between depression and anxiety. Some of my anxiety has been pretty horrible.

Dr K has been working with me on my anxiety. And my depr...


a break tonight...

Posted by missophelia , 12 January 2013 · 48 views

Taking a break from writing, but I feel I need to be here.

So, here are pics of three sketches I did, back in 1981. My family and I had taken a trip to Maine.

I took along my sketchbook.

Click on each pic to see larger. :)

Thanks for looking, and I hope everyone has a great evening.



Posted by missophelia , 10 January 2013 · 69 views

Obstacles to my healing...

urges to SI
inability to create
the way I feel, and think, and believe, about myself

Obviously a list of things I need to work on.

I haven't been on medications in just about a year. Dr K and I talked about that at my last session. She has been, and is, very concerned about me. Just a quick cat...


I'm not ok...

Posted by missophelia , 09 January 2013 · 85 views

And I think I need to find a way to be able to express that again. Like I used to.

I think I need to allow myself, and to let myself feel, and know, that I am safe, and ok, in expressing that I am not ok.

Like I used to.

But the fact is, I'm not ok.

My thoughts and feelings, have been so dark lately. And it's like, a part of me doesn't w...


right now...

Posted by missophelia , 01 January 2013 · 71 views

It's been a very hard day for me. I have struggled to do ANYthing. I did clean out some clothing that doesn't fit me anymore, or that I know I won't wear. But most of my day has been filled with feeling just absolutely horrid.

I hate feeling this way.

I've been feeling really depressed. Really angry. Really anxious.

And sometimes,...

Blog Warning

This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

January 2013


Recent Entries

Recent Comments


    1 user(s) viewing

    0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

    1 user(s) viewing

    0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

    Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.