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I shouldn't have to feel this way

Posted by missophelia , 24 September 2010 · 13 views

Today has been a little better for me. I got out, cleaned my old ladyís house. I also did a lot of thinking.

I shouldnít have to feel this way, about myself. Just because I want to do what lots of other women in this world do. My thinking about it shouldnít leave me feeling so dirty and ashamed. I should be able to be confident, and comfortable with...


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lost

Posted by missophelia , 23 September 2010 · 24 views

Today hasnít been horrible, but it hasnít been very good. I really wish it was Monday. I need to see Dr H.

I didnít sleep well. I suppose it didnít help that, when I lay down last night, I was thinking about that night behind the building. I kept thinking about the things he said, what he did. Over and over.

When I told Dr H about that night, I tol...


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I should just crawl into a hole

Posted by missophelia , 22 September 2010 · 14 views

My day started ok. It got lousy. ItĎs not much better now.

I actually got some sleep last night. I was up a couple of times, but not for long. And each time I went back to bed, I got back to sleep ok.

A has been home sick. Luckily, she had today off work. But sheís running a fever, and feels lousy. Iíve been trying to take care of her, but I have...


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whatever

Posted by missophelia , 21 September 2010 · 22 views

For some things, today was better. Not for how I feel, though.

My stomach is still bothering me. My GI doctor gave me some pain medication for my stomach, and Iíve found that it helps some, with the pain. It doesnít help with the nausea and bloated feeling.

I took one of my pills today, and it helped. But for a lot of the day I was so nauseated, I t...


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not too wonderful a day

Posted by missophelia , 20 September 2010 · 19 views

Todayís been alright. Not spectacular. Just ok.

My session went well. That was about the highlight of my day. After my session I stopped at the mall, just to kind of browse. I ended up buying a handbag.

I tried some clothing on, but couldnít find anything to fit. I hate shopping, because I have so much trouble finding clothing that fits. Tops a...


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nothing to get excited about...at least that's how I feel

Posted by missophelia , 19 September 2010 · 11 views

Today has been a day that I havenít been very excited about anything. Itís not that Iím having a bad day. And I am getting things accomplished. But I just sort of feel like thereís not much I care about.

I know Iím looking forward to therapy tomorrow, but right now Iím not feeling it. I donít know whatís going on with me. Maybe itís that Iím just n...


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conflicted

Posted by missophelia , 18 September 2010 · 26 views

I am conflicted, to say the least. Itís been one of those days, when I wish I could divorce every one in my family except for A. Just have them all be gone!!

I had another one of those smothering dreams last night. But maybe theyíre more like nightmares. That dream always brings back the memory that I really thought I was going to die that ni...


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rambling and realization

Posted by missophelia , 17 September 2010 · 27 views

So, Iím slowly getting back to normal, as far as my laptop goes. I spent a lot of time with the techie guy last night getting the hard drive installed, and then the operating system and drivers. Like, almost 3 hours.

And today, I got some of the stuff installed, like my Microsoft Works. But I still have pictures to transfer back on, the stuff for my...


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let's not go there again

Posted by missophelia , 16 September 2010 · 15 views

Today has been good, and not so good. Iíve kind of been up and down, both with my emotions, and with how Iím feeling physically.

I didnít sleep well last night. I know that part of it was my stomach. But I had that smothering dream, and then for the rest of the night I was restless. I got up for a little while, but at least I was able to get back int...


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resting and thinking

Posted by missophelia , 15 September 2010 · 11 views

Itís been a long day, and Iím tired. Iíve been napping, but it doesnít seem to be helping my tiredness. I had my GI test this morning. I prepped, nothing to eat or drink after 10pm last night. Which was hard.

My stomach has been bothering me, and what I really needed, all through the night, was some antacid. But I couldnít have it. I stuck to what...






Blog Warning

This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

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    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

    4 user(s) viewing

    0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users


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    Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.