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Sydney16's Blog



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im cold

Posted by Sydney16 , 27 December 2011 · 90 views

I am so cold inside
But its because I have to be
I care
and I love
But I know it doesnt show
I love the wrong people
Because I dont know what true love is
True love that doesnt trick me
or run away when shit gets tough
I dont know if I would know true love if it hit me in the head
because right now i am so confused
i mixed up presence with love
but jus...


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Missing you

Posted by Sydney16 , 12 January 2011 · 87 views

am i missing you
its still a question in my mind
i wish i could say yes
that what i am missing is you
but its not
its missing the thought of you
what you represent
security and care
knowing that you wont just leave
knowing that you want something from me too
i wish i could say that you could heal it all
and make me change my ways
make me want you to st...


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an update from nothing

Posted by Sydney16 , 12 January 2011 · 88 views

So I decided I would write. I dont know about what or why just I guess to write. Lately I have been very sick and its annoying but I am comming to accept that I am sick and that that. Not much I can do to fight it but rest and do wat I can to get better. So I have cancelled some things I had planned until I have the energy to do them. I am anxious about t...


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hide

Posted by Sydney16 , 12 September 2010 · 88 views

im good at hiding
or so i think
if only you knew only what i wanted you to know
nothing more
but it keeps slipping out
pieces of me
i dont want you to know
my past
that i just want to leave behind
i still carry it with me
cant move forward
throw it in the wind
its no longer me
its no longer the person i wanna be
you overwhelm me


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broke the cycle

Posted by Sydney16 , 12 September 2010 · 89 views

i broke the cycle
you are gone
it hurt too much
had to leave before it got worse
dont know why u do the things u do
but know it has nothing to do with me
i did what i could to survive
it was hard seeing u and not being able to touch u
pretend everything was ok
but i knew the truth
and i couldnt forget
the things you said
the terror i felt
i thought it w...


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Scared Excited

Posted by Sydney16 , 16 November 2009 · 43 views

So tommorow I have to go for my culinary assesment for school. I am nervous for it I hope I do well, and I also hope that the program is for me. I have been waiting a long time for something like this for a long time. I guess most of my anxiety is stemming from my inability to predict the future and not really know what to expect at all really. I am prett...


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i am a sex addict

Posted by Sydney16 , 02 July 2006 · 40 views

my therapist doesnt think i am a sex addict but i think i am.

Often, I do not like who I am because of my sexual behavior.

Often i feel like all I am is my sexual behaviour. Untill I get off its not untill than do i feel like a normal person.

i want to be normal, lead a normal life. something more real, instesad of living in my head trying to act out...


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ppl would kill 4 what u are throwing away

Posted by Sydney16 , 18 May 2006 · 44 views

I didnt want to write this. I was avoiding it today. But something tells me it might help me stop dwelling on it and get some sleep.

You are throwing away something so special. It hurts to know that you are abandoning the people who are your blood your true family.

I know I have given you chance after chance to be better and have a relationship. I have...


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sex

Posted by Sydney16 , 28 March 2006 · 45 views

So i just had sex and it was horrible

the guy was actually nice. and I couldnt get turned on by him at all really. I couldnt even get turned on by my vibrator or myself.

I couldnt stay in the moment and feel any physical pleasure at all. He had to just come fast because I couldnt stand being fusterated by myself that I couldnt cum!! i was s angr...


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Kiwi

Posted by Sydney16 , 27 March 2006 · 45 views

Just looking at you makes me always be there
Looking into your wide eyes I know you've been all through the same
Abandoned and alone
Never knowing whether someone will love you ever again
Will someone take you dispite all your battle wounds?
I took you and you accepted me
You were a miracle
You remind me of how far Ive come
I never wish you to be anyt...






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