Just sick of it
I know all this is still very new really. I know that healing is a journey. But I really am just sick of it. I am sick of reminding myself that there is no just getting over it, I have to work my way through it. The whole thing is I never know if what I am doing is making even the tiniest bit of difference. I do know I am making progress, I can feel it. But it just isn't enough.
Most of all I am just so damn sick of myself. I am sick of having to remind myself that the world won't end if I don't study for ten hours a day, keep the house perfect and do a thousand things for a hundred people. The only people I have to worry about are me and the kids but sometimes that is even too much. I am sick of the tiny nagging voice that tells me I have to do more, be more. The voice is quieter than it was before but it is still there.
This is totally pointless and I have no idea why I even bothered.