Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.
You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.
I can't deny good things came out of my marriage. I have my beautiful kids and I wouldn't trade that for anything. I wouldn't have met a lot of the wonderful people that I have or done the things I have.
And I can't say that he destroyed my hopes and dreams. I really didn't have many when we first started going out. I was too busy surviving. Others had hurt me before that yet I had never addressed it. I wasn't living, I was simply marking time.
But was it worth it?
No. It wasn't.
It wasn't worth all the pain and hurt and everything else. It wasn't worth the scars, both physical and psychological. And it wasn't worth feeling like my very heart and soul being ripped apart.
I won't deny the good things that came from my marriage,that would be incredibly short sighted. But I will also not deny the cost that those things came at. In some ways it makes them all the more precious. In others it makes my sometimes ambivilance towards those things understandable.
He used to tell me "It will cost you." but I doubt that he would even begin to understand the real price I have paid. And it is his fault. His responsibility. His shame. But my burden to bear.
1 Comments On This Entry
About my blog
Please note that some of the content here may be triggering.
What I write here is just me being honest with myself. Mostly just venting about things, realisations, and my path through healing.
There will be talk of CSA, SA, R, SI and ED here.