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I don't normally post twice to my blog in one day. In fact I rarely use my blog at all. But I need to get some of this out before I explode and I have no idea which forum to put it in. Add to that it just seems kind of petty and I am disappointed that it has thrown me so damn badly.
I am having a lot of pressure put on me about moving settlement date up for the house. The buyers want it pretty quickly. And my ex wants settlement so he can get a new car and not have to try and get his current shitbox up to scratch to pass the rego check. But I am not really in a position to have settlement moved up. I have four and a half weeks until the last of my assignments are due for uni. Three of them, all at the same time. Then I have a further four weeks until settlement. As it is I have a week less for my assignments than I thought. How can I do it any quicker? I don't know if there is any way I can. I barely sleep now as it is. What am I supposed to do? Sleep less? I feel like everything is just stretched to the max and the only thing that is left with any give in it is me. But to do that isn't smart or healthy.
I just feel really alone with all this. I have nobody I can talk to about it. My friends just don't get how important my studies are to me. Most of them don't work and don't want to. But I need to get this degree if I want a real future. I can't ring the DV service after hours number. The last time I did, in a complete meltdown, I got told it was for "real" crises only. So I can't do that again. I won't. And to be perfectly honest I know it isn't really a crisis - it is just my anxiety levels rising again. For the same reason I don't think I could bring myself to ring a crisis line. And I don't see my T for just over a fortnight so I don't even have that outlet.
I just don't know what to do. Why is it that what I need is still taking a backseat to everybody else?
I am having a lot of pressure put on me about moving settlement date up for the house. The buyers want it pretty quickly. And my ex wants settlement so he can get a new car and not have to try and get his current shitbox up to scratch to pass the rego check. But I am not really in a position to have settlement moved up. I have four and a half weeks until the last of my assignments are due for uni. Three of them, all at the same time. Then I have a further four weeks until settlement. As it is I have a week less for my assignments than I thought. How can I do it any quicker? I don't know if there is any way I can. I barely sleep now as it is. What am I supposed to do? Sleep less? I feel like everything is just stretched to the max and the only thing that is left with any give in it is me. But to do that isn't smart or healthy.
I just feel really alone with all this. I have nobody I can talk to about it. My friends just don't get how important my studies are to me. Most of them don't work and don't want to. But I need to get this degree if I want a real future. I can't ring the DV service after hours number. The last time I did, in a complete meltdown, I got told it was for "real" crises only. So I can't do that again. I won't. And to be perfectly honest I know it isn't really a crisis - it is just my anxiety levels rising again. For the same reason I don't think I could bring myself to ring a crisis line. And I don't see my T for just over a fortnight so I don't even have that outlet.
I just don't know what to do. Why is it that what I need is still taking a backseat to everybody else?
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About my blog
This is basically my space to spill out everything I'm thinking and feeling.
Please note that some of the content here may be triggering.
What I write here is just me being honest with myself. Mostly just venting about things, realisations, and my path through healing.
There will be talk of CSA, SA, R, SI and ED here.
Please note that some of the content here may be triggering.
What I write here is just me being honest with myself. Mostly just venting about things, realisations, and my path through healing.
There will be talk of CSA, SA, R, SI and ED here.
Hang in there!