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The new semester has started and I am not going to have a repeat of the last one. I let myself get derailed early because of flying up to Neville's funeral and then losing a day to exhaustion from that. Bang two days gone. Then I let the depression take over and I couldn't study. Not going to happen again.
I know that people see me as obsessed about my studies and right at the moment I don't really care. This degree is important and I need to do really well if I want to do an honours year, especially if it is somewhere besides Southern Cross. So I need to pull my socks up and really start doing well. Last semester was more like what I need but I need to try and get all my grades above a Credit. Distinctions and High Distinctions, especially now that I am totally in my units for my majors, is what I need.
I know some people are going to be disappointed in me. They will see this as putting more unnecessary pressure on myself. But I don't believe it is unecessary. Not if I am to do my best. There are no excuses now. I am out and safe. Money is relatively stable, if a little tight most of the time. And I am at a point where I have to start saying that what happened is not my life. It does not define who I am. It is time to not just let it go but to push it away, kicking and screaming if necessary.
I am going to do this. I have to.
I know that people see me as obsessed about my studies and right at the moment I don't really care. This degree is important and I need to do really well if I want to do an honours year, especially if it is somewhere besides Southern Cross. So I need to pull my socks up and really start doing well. Last semester was more like what I need but I need to try and get all my grades above a Credit. Distinctions and High Distinctions, especially now that I am totally in my units for my majors, is what I need.
I know some people are going to be disappointed in me. They will see this as putting more unnecessary pressure on myself. But I don't believe it is unecessary. Not if I am to do my best. There are no excuses now. I am out and safe. Money is relatively stable, if a little tight most of the time. And I am at a point where I have to start saying that what happened is not my life. It does not define who I am. It is time to not just let it go but to push it away, kicking and screaming if necessary.
I am going to do this. I have to.
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1 Comments On This Entry
I know how you feel, I let depression get over me too this last semester. I am glad you are fighting it and grades are important, but remember you are the most important thing so even though it may seem silly, give yourself 10 minutes a day to do nothing, and at least 30 minutes a day to do something you love. Make sure you are paying attention to how you feel and not just ignoring any problems that arise. Good Luck!
brokenspaces,
29 June 2010 - 07:26 AM
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About my blog
This is basically my space to spill out everything I'm thinking and feeling.
Please note that some of the content here may be triggering.
What I write here is just me being honest with myself. Mostly just venting about things, realisations, and my path through healing.
There will be talk of CSA, SA, R, SI and ED here.
Please note that some of the content here may be triggering.
What I write here is just me being honest with myself. Mostly just venting about things, realisations, and my path through healing.
There will be talk of CSA, SA, R, SI and ED here.
