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Ash, Zelda and bellachai like this

do the right thing

16 October 2010
Posted by Zelda  
I don't want to be considerate.

I don't want to be obligated to do.

I don't want to feel guilt


I don't want to be fair or just or equitable.

I don't want to be reasonable.


If you screw me, then fuck you.

I will not suffer fools

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just

16 October 2010
Posted by Zelda  
feeling over the top dead weight. I did have a little breakthrough where I was feeling a well lifting of some heavy veil but I want my spark back, even if it was neurotic spark was better than nothing.

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arc angels

13 October 2010
Posted by Zelda  
I thank the universe for my therapist. Last time I brought up a stupid idea I have and asked her if she too thought it was a stupid idea. HMR. The guided imagery thing. Her response was the look I know by now, and I excused her from answering beyond that look for which she thanked me.

I am going to go ahead and do it anyway. So what if...
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no idea

12 October 2010
Posted by Zelda  
I am completely clueless.


And happy to stay that way.




I had a dream last night of falling through a chute. I knew about the chute it was in an old house. The house was full of antiques but they were contemporary to the time of the dream but there was dust on everything. I saw a child's doll. I voluntarily took the plunge and while...
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work work work

10 October 2010
Posted by Zelda  
the yoga instructor calls out that command during the brutal 12 minutes of whatever repetition we happen to be doing, it always helps , I push through what I never imagine I could do. That this voice of encouragement could be so powerful...

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decision day

10 October 2010
Posted by Zelda  
Not long after I woke up today I made a decision about group therapy. And it is not contigent on anything or anyone else. Feels powerful. I made another decision too. I have suffered PTSD all my life. duh. But the thing is, I am aware of it now. I don't have any memories, but I can tackle, at least try to take on the PTSD. At least have a...
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exercise

09 October 2010
Posted by Zelda  
and sunshine is a blissful combination

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Ash, Zelda and bellachai like this
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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.