a flash then a memory then panic
so the memory is - I am writing this for my own sake. As a teenager my first boyfriend was over at our house. I was in the bathroom, brushing my hair and mugging at myself in the mirror, basically being weird, Smiling and acting as though I were conversing with him and checking out how I looked and he walked and caught me doing this and was shocked.
I don't honestly know how weird that was, but I was embarrased at the time and knew something was wrong with me ..I just don't know why all the panic about it now.