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My whole life

My whole life has been merely a succession of miserable and unsuccessful denials of feelings or reason." "...I am not capable of close friendship: of two close friends, one is always the slave of the other, although frequently neither of them will admit it. I cannot be a slave, and to command in such circumstances is a tiresome business, because one must deceive at the same time." <LI>"Afraid of decision, I buried my finer feelings in the depths of my heart and they died there."




Needless to say I am mired in a deep depression. I am so depressed, I have no desire to get out of it.
Zelda likes this

3 Comments On This Entry

Oh...You will get out of this. I know you will.
I am sorry you are in such a hard, dark place. I don't know what to say except that I am here, and I hope you keep at least getting these feelings out and talking through them.
MaybeJ I know I should talk to someone, recently it occured to me to contact my old psychiatrist. You're right that these horrible feelings must be confronted and dealt with, but what I do is dig a little hole in the form of this blog, purge and then cover it up, so no one will see or hear it. Except for everyone here of course. Thanks for hearing me, it mean much. You too, jane.
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