Pandora's Aquarium: matters of the heart - Pandora's Aquarium

There has been an outpouring from friends and coworkers in the wake of my mother's death. People are so kind. I have received many cards in the mail and flowers came from the company where I work. The envelopes lay unopened for days now and the flowers sort of give me a funny feeling too, I can't stand to listen to any of the voicemails.
I don't think this is about my mother, but about me.

Here is something I happened to read today that made me realize what this may be about.

..may indicate that these people may have had to shut down the heart due to fear, pain and hurt. They don't want to feel or be vulneralbe, much less connect and merge. They may have difficult loving themselves and feeling inner peace.
They feel that love is a "poisoned apple". This feeling affect their immune system...
Of course, underlying all that arise the big question WHY? They end up with the assumption that they deserve the "poisoned apple" Therefore, they don't want anything to do with love and so they may shut down their heart.
There is a great need, with this patern to revitalize matters of the heart by experiencing their personal health and strength through honest self-discovery. When this effectively happens this pattern can be positively transformed into the "wounded healer" phenomena, where this indivudual has learned throught experience to love themselves and love others as a result.