Pieces Of Me

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I can't stand this

26 February 2007

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

I hate this. How in the world could I have a wonderful, happy life, and then suddenly it is turned upside down. I don't understand how I could go for years not thinking about all the crap, and then suddenly it is all there like I hit a brick wall, unexpectedly. I don't get it, and I can't stand it. I would give anything if none of this...

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Tags: My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories

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I want to talk to someone

24 February 2007

Posted by ChristineMarie

I want to talk to someone, I want to so badly. I don't know if I can, and I don't know how.

I want someone to protect me from the memories. I wish, I could go back in time with my husband and he could stop all this before it happened. I wish he could have protected me then.

It is too late now, what can he do now? I wish that he could...

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I am scared

24 February 2007

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

When I met my husband 10 years ago, my life changed. All my prayers were answered. I was very scared to trust happiness and him. I got past that fear, when I realized he truly loved me. We are best friends, soul mates, and love each other very much. We had three beautiful children. The fear subsided, and I got used to being happy, crap happened in...

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Tags: My thoughts and memories

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My Life

10 February 2007

Posted by ChristineMarie in My Life

I am just here to let out some frustration. I look at my life and I am happy, I have 3 beautiful children and a good husband. I feel bad about ever complaining, because, I feel like God will be like, "really, well let me show you how worse off YOU COULD BE!" I feel like I should be happy with what I got, and not complain. There are a...

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Tags: My life

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Found a newspaper article on one of them

02 February 2007

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

I thought it would be interesting to look google Chad. He still lives in the same town, he is a park ranger at the lake I used to camp at all the time, which makes me very mad, because that is something I would love to do, I wish he was doing something he hated for a living.

The thing I find very funny though is there is a law suit against him...

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Tags: My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories

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I hate nightmares

31 January 2007

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

I am afraid this is now affecting me being a mother. My 6 year old daughter had a art project due today, she is in kindergarten. Art project to celebrate 100 days of school. I was going to do it with her last night, and because I was so distracted with all of this, I completely forgot about it. Now I woke up this morning, and instead of spending...

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Tags: My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories

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Feeling such turmoil

31 January 2007

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

I am feeling such tumoil, so sad, I am so scared of him. I know he is gone, and I probably will never see him again. I am still so scared of him and when he is going to enter my mind again. I don't ever know when he is going to jump in my mind. When I begin to think of things, it is so real, it is like it is happening all over again. I am...

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Tags: My thoughts and memories

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Chad

26 January 2007

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

Chad scared me so much more than anyone else, and I am not sure why. Maybe because what happened with my dad was so long ago, a little more faded.

He was my best friend’s brother, and I spent a lot of time at her house. We lived by each other in the country, always hiking, camping, spending the night. He was usually with us, around the same age...

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Tags: My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories

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Hate

26 January 2007

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

I hate him, I really hate him, I keep reading this for some kind of reaction from myself, besides. I hate him for having so much power over me, I hate him for his words to me, I hate him for making me second guess myself. Wondering did I tease him, did I make him think I wanted it, is it my fault, why didn't I stay away from his sister, stop...

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Tags: My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories

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I want to cry

26 January 2007

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

I have had a really good day today, been positive, and happy. Thinking to myself, yeah the past is bad, but have lots to be thankful for now, lots of reasons to be happy now.

That is what I am finding sucks about this whole thing, you think your doing alright, and then something triggers you, and your back where you started. I got triggered last...

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Tags: My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories

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