Pandora's Aquarium: Pieces Of Me - Pandora's Aquarium

Jump to content

Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!

Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.

You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.

Guest Message © 2013 DevFuse

Ingz, bellachai and bj_bear like this

I could have hurt him

25 March 2007
Posted by ChristineMarie  
I remember a time, a time when I could have protected myself, but didn't. I was in their kitchen getting a drink of water, I had been over there spending time with his sister again. I was in there alone at first, hadn't seen him all day, thought I wasn't going to have to. Their kitchen was small and I was at the sink, turned around and...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
I want to confront him, I know where he is. I want to go with some kind of a weapon, like mace, in case he tries something and confront him. I am so pissed. I saw his name, and wondered if it was him, and it was I saw his picture, he is the lake ranger at a lake that I used to always go camping and hiking at. I have all these emotions running...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories

Icon 0 Comments

A wonderful dream I had.

19 March 2007
Posted by ChristineMarie  
This dream was beautiful, probably the best one I have ever had. I don't even know what prompted it. This is what I remember.

My husband and I were on a beach somewhere. An isolated beach, it was very beautiful and serene. Which is funny because we have never been to such a place :huh: . Anyway I remember we were just in awe at the beauty,...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

I hate being weak!

17 March 2007
Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
I wish I could change myself sometimes. The one thing I am proud of the most is that I am a very caring person, but I think too caring. I am so weak, I really hate it. I don't care what is happening in my life, I cannot stand up for myself at all. I am constantly worried about other people. I don't want to hurt anyone, or make anyone mad....
Read Full Entry →

Tags: My thoughts and memories

Icon 0 Comments

this morning

01 March 2007
Posted by ChristineMarie  
I really don't know if I can keep handling this. Every time I remember something else, I feel more beat down. More sad. I never could fall back to sleep, my mind wouldn't stop reliving. My husband moved in his sleep and his elbow brushed against my back, and I jumped it scared me. Then I was back again in my mind back in time with that...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
I was awaken tonight, not by flashbacks or nightmares, but my 4 year old daughter. Of course, once I wake up, thoughts start rolling, and I cannot go back to sleep. So now instead of tossing and turning all night in bed, I get up, come in here, and post at Pandy's (good or bad, I don't know ). Anyway, here recently, my thoughts are always...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories

Icon 0 Comments

He broke my spirit

28 February 2007
Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
I am realizing why Chad effects me so much, and why it is so hard. He broke my spirit. I was violated before, and it hurt by Jason, my father hurt me, but that is all still very, very distant and faded. They took away my innocence and sense of what was wrong and what was right. I did not fight my dad or Jason. I just did not realize what was...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: My thoughts and memories

Icon 0 Comments

WORSE DAY YET

28 February 2007
Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
I am not sure why, yesterday was the worse day I have had so far. After everything the night before last. I was really worried yesterday, all day. I have never been so on edge, so nervous, and shaky. All day long, I felt like he was assaulting me. I kept feeling him, and seeing him over and over again. It was constant, and I was so scared that it...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories

Icon 0 Comments

Another flashback

27 February 2007
Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
:huh:

I am going to write down what I remember, try to release it here, somehow. I was walking home from their house after spending the day with Brenna, his sister. It was getting dark. I was used to him by now taking the back route around the woods and cutting me off or following me. This was a few days after the first time he raped me,...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories

Icon 2 Comments

Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
:huh:

I can't stop it. It was a nightmare/flashback it woke me, and I can't sleep now. I had spent the night with his sister, it was during the day. I was looking for one of their cats, and she told me to go to his room and look under his bed. I didn't know he was around, I hadn't seen him that day. I was on the floor and...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories

Icon 0 Comments

Ingz, bellachai and bj_bear like this

Back to blog home →
  • 56 Pages +
  • « First
  • 52
  • 53
  • 54
  • 55
  • 56

The Kelsey Briggs Story

Child Abuse Casts a Shadow the Length of a Lifetime

~Herbert Ward~

Please click on the link below...
~In Memory of Kelsey Briggs

RAINN

1-800-656-HOPE or RAINN.org

Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.