Pieces Of Me

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The line between paranoia and a real reason to be scared

19 October 2010

Posted by ChristineMarie in My Life

How do I know where the line is between a real reason to be scared and my overactive paranoia? Okay, so I am here journaling/blogging whatever, and I get a call that is restricted. I didn't think too much about it because I have gotten them before and they are usually doctor's offices or the social security department for my daughter. I...

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I hate what it does to me

19 October 2010

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

I wonder if it would be bad in the healing process if I tried to not think about it all, if I try very hard to push it all away once it begins to come up. I have went over and over this, but my life is so different now. What happened was truly a lifetime ago, to a different person than I am now, so why can't I just let it go? I know that what...

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My family pisses me off

16 October 2010

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

I was thinking about the visit with my step-mom, and it pisses me off. It was fine until she asked me if I had heard from my sister Amy. She started to go off about how she never calls. She made some pretty stupid comments. She actually said, "Your dad wears his heart on his sleeve worried about her, but never talks about her. Do you know...

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That house

15 October 2010

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

I try to avoid my father's house as much as possible. When I do go there I do not go anywhere near the hallway. I can't even bare to look down it without being flooded with I don't even know what, not necessarily emotions, but more like memories of feelings that I had when I was a child. I stay as close to the front door as possible....

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Today was horrible

08 October 2010

Posted by ChristineMarie in My Life

Today was so horrible, the little girl that I have been so worried about was taken today by DHS. I had decided earlier in the week that I would not offer to take her, but then they showed up. I knew what they were there for, and I changed my mind. I couldn't just let her go without saying something, without offering, so I mentioned that I...

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How will I know

06 October 2010

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

On Wed afternoon is when I have my therapy session, and afterwords I go to whatever college class that I am taking at the time. So, I try to shut off the therapy mindset, and turn on the student mindset as I walk into the classroom. It has been difficult to do that in the past five weeks because the class I am currently taking is intro to...

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Dreading next week

02 October 2010

Posted by ChristineMarie in My Life

I keep going over this, but it is bothering me. Next week is going to suck, being with this child and knowing what is about to happen. If it is not too difficult, I want to help, but I don't want to have to deal with her family. I do not want my family to be affected negatively because of this child, but scared to think about what is going to...

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Another rough week at work

02 October 2010

Posted by ChristineMarie in My Life

Well, the little girl that I have been worried about was placed in a different home, and I don't know what DHS was thinking because they placed her in a home with another family I know who had child abuse allegations previously brought up against them. We found out that something is going to happen this Thursday, she is either going to be...

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Rough day at work

29 September 2010

Posted by ChristineMarie in My Life

Well, the little girl that I was worried about has been gone for a week. This was her first day back, meanwhile her mother has had a baby, and sometime during the week had gotten back with the man that had abused this little girl. So this morning when she shows up, it is her mother and this asshole that drops her off.

We are automatically...

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She wasn't there

28 September 2010

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

You know, it is pretty sad that it takes another person looking at your life and talking to you about it to make you see it for what it is. It takes my t to say maybe one or two simple words to make me look back at things, and then it is like I finally see it for what it really was, I see people for how they truly are. Not only have I always given...

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