Pandora's Aquarium: Pieces Of Me - Pandora's Aquarium

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Ingz, bellachai and bj_bear like this
Posted by ChristineMarie   in My Life
Well, I put off going to the doctor as much as possible. I have had four abnormal paps now, and I am sure that it has to do with the abuse. I have heard a couple of times that childhood sexual abuse can raise the risk of cervical cancer, not sure if that is accurate or not but wouldn't doubt it. I was diagnosed with dysplasia years ago and was...
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I can't relate to anyone

26 October 2010
Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
I work at an elementary school with pre-k children. I take a college class one night a week, and that is the only time I socialize on a normal basis. Of course there are the family visits that I must partake in on special occasions. Then I have one friend that I talk to and visit about once every six months, and that I put off as long as possible....
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Still getting prank calls

24 October 2010
Posted by ChristineMarie   in My Life
Well, I got that first prank call that caused me to panic, I got another call from the same person on the way to therapy on Wed. He didn't say anything this time, he just sit there. I told him not to call me again and hung up. I was still in a panic when I went to therapy and my t calmed me down. I hadn't got another call until today. He...
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It's 2:00 in the morning

24 October 2010
Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
It is 2:00 in the morning, and yet here I am again. Boy, I am here a lot, I am not always here typing either, sometimes just reading trying to figure this life out. I think that is why I come here so much, trying to figure it all out and guess what it isn't working. I have all this shit going on in my mind, and can't seem to stop it so I...
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Reflecting

22 October 2010
Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
I was thinking about something that I did in therapy on Wed. I am not sure if there is a particular name for it, but he has me write down some negative thought on myself, and then write down whatever emotions and physical responses that I have within me. I continue to write the same thoughts down along with my response until the negativity that I...
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Being part of this group

21 October 2010
Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
Well, I thought that it was going to be a better day, and it was relaxing, but not so much better. I am not sure why I do it, but I tend to watch things that I know will trigger me. I guess it is seeing others react the same way I have to what happened to me, knowing that I am not alone in these feelings that I have. It is like seeing a reflection...
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Posted by ChristineMarie  
I am going to try to have a better day today. I am home with my kids all day, house is clean, homework is caught up, there is nothing that needs to be done today. It is a beautiful fall day. I am sitting here as I am typing, looking out my sliding door at the pretty view feeling okay, my windows are open and fresh morning air is blowing in, I can...
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Feeling alone and sad

20 October 2010
Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
It amazes me how I can have three beautiful children and a husband who loves me very much, but still feel so completely alone at times. Driving home tonight I got so sad. I have so much going on inside of me right now, I am feeling so much pain, but cannot share it with anyone. There is Pandys, and there is therapy, but there needs to be something...
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I overreacted

19 October 2010
Posted by ChristineMarie   in My Life
I know that I overreacted to that phone call. Of course, it is understandable that it triggered me. I have been anxious all day even though I keep telling myself that it was only a random call. Still, I called the police and asked them if they could trace it for me, he said that he would ask his lieutenant but he has not called me back. Even if it...
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Posted by ChristineMarie   in My Life
Okay, I am just going to try to calm myself down. I almost called my husband and realized that he will not answer his phone at work, posted here on the forums, then I thought that I would email my t, and ask him if my fears about this phone call are rational or not, and what I should do. If the fears are irrational, ask him to calm me down. Then...
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The Kelsey Briggs Story

Child Abuse Casts a Shadow the Length of a Lifetime

~Herbert Ward~

Please click on the link below...
~In Memory of Kelsey Briggs

RAINN

1-800-656-HOPE or RAINN.org

Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.