There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!
Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.
You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.
I just watched the video on youtube that pandys put together. I read the signs that our members were holding up, and I don't feel any of those. I don't feel deserving of love, I don't feel good about myself, though I know I should, I don't. I feel so lucky to have what I got, and do not feel like I am worth it all. It will never happen. I still always feel ugly, I am always self-conscious. I do not associate with many people because I am afraid that anyone I talk to will find me odd. I stay at my home as much as possible because I do not want to deal with the outside world unless I absolutely have to. I am overprotective of my children. I am 34 and I do not see myself ever changing, I have been through therapy with two different therapists, been at Pandys for years now, and still feel the same. I have come to accept these things about myself and realize that I am not going to be able to do better, and I am trying to be content with that realization. Maybe that in itself is healing, accepting the things that I cannot change. Yet, knowing that I cannot change these things only makes me dislike myself more, makes me fell less worthy.
I don't know what the end of this is supposed to be, will there ever be a point that I can truly accept myself as me, and not look at myself with such contempt, and loathing. What is the end game, what is it supposed to look like. I have certain people that I look up to so much here at Pandys, and I long to be like them, but know that I will never be. What do they feel, do they feel that they have made it through the journey, or are they still traveling down that long road. Do they feel as I do, or can they truly say that they are where they want to be? Will I ever be able to say that?
2 Comments On This Entry
0 user(s) viewing
0 anonymous member(s)