Pandora's Aquarium: Feeling alone and sad - Pandora's Aquarium

It amazes me how I can have three beautiful children and a husband who loves me very much, but still feel so completely alone at times. Driving home tonight I got so sad. I have so much going on inside of me right now, I am feeling so much pain, but cannot share it with anyone. There is Pandys, and there is therapy, but there needs to be something more, someone there, I wish I had someone. I feel alone with my pain, isolated, I don't get people and they don't get me. I want to be alone, yet being alone makes me very sad.

I need to somehow process this tonight, release the pain in someway, but there is no way I can. I am feeling defeated, defeated and tired of this burden. I am longing to get away again. I need to go somewhere away from people, away from my family, in isolation, somewhere at a secluded spot. Maybe the lake or in the woods somewhere, and just spend some time there in silence. I need to get away from expectations from others, having to worry about others and caring for them, away from responsibility. I need to be alone with nature once again for a long while. I need that peace, that realness, that is the only place that I feel relaxed, that I feel like I can give myself attention and time, where I can process what has been going on with me here lately. It is the best place for me where I feel real, where I can see myself, begin to find myself. It is the only place where I feel content. It is that serenity of nature where I can begin to allow myself to dig deep and begin to pull out all the pain, the pain that I need a release from so badly right now.