Pieces Of Me

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Ingz, bellachai and bj_bear like this

I hate nightmares

31 January 2007

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

I am afraid this is now affecting me being a mother. My 6 year old daughter had a art project due today, she is in kindergarten. Art project to celebrate 100 days of school. I was going to do it with her last night, and because I was so distracted with all of this, I completely forgot about it. Now I woke up this morning, and instead of spending...

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Tags: My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories

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Feeling such turmoil

31 January 2007

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

I am feeling such tumoil, so sad, I am so scared of him. I know he is gone, and I probably will never see him again. I am still so scared of him and when he is going to enter my mind again. I don't ever know when he is going to jump in my mind. When I begin to think of things, it is so real, it is like it is happening all over again. I am...

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Tags: My thoughts and memories

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Chad

26 January 2007

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

Chad scared me so much more than anyone else, and I am not sure why. Maybe because what happened with my dad was so long ago, a little more faded.

He was my best friend’s brother, and I spent a lot of time at her house. We lived by each other in the country, always hiking, camping, spending the night. He was usually with us, around the same age...

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Tags: My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories

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Hate

26 January 2007

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

I hate him, I really hate him, I keep reading this for some kind of reaction from myself, besides. I hate him for having so much power over me, I hate him for his words to me, I hate him for making me second guess myself. Wondering did I tease him, did I make him think I wanted it, is it my fault, why didn't I stay away from his sister, stop...

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Tags: My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories

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I want to cry

26 January 2007

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

I have had a really good day today, been positive, and happy. Thinking to myself, yeah the past is bad, but have lots to be thankful for now, lots of reasons to be happy now.

That is what I am finding sucks about this whole thing, you think your doing alright, and then something triggers you, and your back where you started. I got triggered last...

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Tags: My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories

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It won't stop

26 January 2007

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

Why am I not having more of a reaction? I feel numb it's like I am watching a movie, I am sad for that girl, I am ashamed for that girl, that girl who is me. I am shaky and my heart is beating, but I have no tears. Why is that?

It won't stop going through my mind, I can't get it out of my head, I can't stop feeling...

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Tags: My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories, My thoughts and memories

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Bad week

01 January 2004

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

What a wonderful way to start a new year, thinking of this crap. I don't know what all the hoop-la is about anyway, who cares it is a new year. Just another one that goes by in time. I miss my positive attitude that I used to have. I got a lot to be thankful this in my life, I shouldn't be unhappy, but I am right now.

This week has been...

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Having a hard time right now

01 January 2004

Posted by ChristineMarie in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...

Not sure why, maybe it is because I have been off for two weeks now, and I have time to think. I have been having a hard time this week. I have been thinking about everything and I am so angry at my mom and sister. It is hard not to show it either. I am so mad for them not protecting me and putting me in positions that I shouldn't have been...

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