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hey,
wow I have not used this in a long time, i am thinking that maybe I should more often, I went to T on friday and it was just a really hard session, made contact with my inner child and we did what my T is calling chair work which is basically me talking to myself at 5 and my 5 year old self talking to me. It is just so hard I dont like to do this stuff but I know I can never grow anymore without this, I just feel like I cannot trust anyone, I havent really felt that before especially in this magnitude. It definitely stems from my inner child because when I am in that "mode" of being a child the not trusting people is even worse. But again its definitely more prominent in all aspects of my life then I am used to, I used to be/am? social but I am feeling more of a need to pull away from those I am close to for fear of being hurt. Its like I cant show anyone how scared and vulnerable I am because they will hurt me in some way. I don't 100% believe that but thats how I feel inside. I know everyone needs people and I definitely need people but with some of the things I am dealing with needing and being close to people is going to be so difficult for me. :tear:/>
I guess i say I feel like I am living a lonely existance becuase I feel I cant reach out for the support i once had in my friends, its my choice or my change in feeling but make no mistake i feel my support is gone and I cant tell anyone anything and that is so hard for me
I just dont know how I am going to get back to trusting people again and feeling okay about being nearby others who I dont trust as much, I am hoping lunch with my good friend this week will go okay, I need to be able to talk to her I hope I can :toomuch:/>
wow I have not used this in a long time, i am thinking that maybe I should more often, I went to T on friday and it was just a really hard session, made contact with my inner child and we did what my T is calling chair work which is basically me talking to myself at 5 and my 5 year old self talking to me. It is just so hard I dont like to do this stuff but I know I can never grow anymore without this, I just feel like I cannot trust anyone, I havent really felt that before especially in this magnitude. It definitely stems from my inner child because when I am in that "mode" of being a child the not trusting people is even worse. But again its definitely more prominent in all aspects of my life then I am used to, I used to be/am? social but I am feeling more of a need to pull away from those I am close to for fear of being hurt. Its like I cant show anyone how scared and vulnerable I am because they will hurt me in some way. I don't 100% believe that but thats how I feel inside. I know everyone needs people and I definitely need people but with some of the things I am dealing with needing and being close to people is going to be so difficult for me. :tear:/>
I guess i say I feel like I am living a lonely existance becuase I feel I cant reach out for the support i once had in my friends, its my choice or my change in feeling but make no mistake i feel my support is gone and I cant tell anyone anything and that is so hard for me
I just dont know how I am going to get back to trusting people again and feeling okay about being nearby others who I dont trust as much, I am hoping lunch with my good friend this week will go okay, I need to be able to talk to her I hope I can :toomuch:/>
Tags: coping
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I also strongly relate to what you say about feeling lonely and with-drawing. For me I also am convinced if I show a genuine need I will be slapped down or ridiculed
Best of luck with your healing and thanks for sharing your experiences.
Em
Its so good to know I am not alone in this. It definitely helped to hear you say you have become closer to your inner child this way as I have struggled with knowing my inner child well in the past. Also the feeling you mentioned about being rediculed or knocked down describes me well and is definitely a big fear of mine I hope soon I can learn to trust my therapist more, I do really trust him now already I hope the bond will grow stronger. Thanks again for your reply its so great that someone understands.