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lostinsideofme likes this

And ur a Doctor?

24 September 2011
Posted by lostinsideofme   in My Stories
Ok so where to begin...


So I take my kids to the doctors yesterday morning, after working a 16hour shift and being up for a total of 20something hours.

I sit there with the two of them aggravating each other, waiting for over an hour for the doctor, even though this was the first appointment of the day...

When the doc finally comes in, i tell...
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Ending soon...

20 September 2011
Posted by lostinsideofme   in Therapy
My t is leaving soon. Sometime in December. Far too soon if you ask me. Right in the midst of two MAJOR anniversaries. MAJOR anniversaries. The first time my uncle abused me and the loss of my baby girl. Damn just typing that makes me want to jump off a bridge.





[spoiler] So IDK what I'm going to do. I'm thinking when she tells me her...
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Stressful T Session

20 September 2011
Posted by lostinsideofme   in Therapy
I'm sad. I busted my neck tryin to make it to therapy on time today, managed to make it there early only to have my therapist be 10 minutes late.

But to hear the things we talked about. She tells me that she thinks I should be on meds. That I should try this treatment plan, blah blah blah. That i'm not vested in my care. Reminding me...
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Standing on the Edge

18 September 2011
Posted by lostinsideofme   in Therapy
If i hear one more piece of bad news, its over for me. I can't take it anymore.

Yesterday I get a phone call from my sister letting me know that my brother ran away from his foster home. Then I get him on the phone crying in my ear begging me to rescue him... Here I am standing at the barbershop in tears because I cant and I dont know...
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Positivity

18 September 2011
Posted by lostinsideofme  
Someone told me to focus on the positive things in my life. To make a list... So here goes...

My son. :)


Wow that was fun...

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A Letter to Myself

18 September 2011
Posted by lostinsideofme   in Therapy
Found this in one of my notebooks from years ago, posting it because its still so real:


Everyone hates me. They all do it and I know it. I wake up everyone morning wondering why I had to wake up again and who decided I should be born. But that's ok let them hate me. Who gives a fuck because no one can hate me more than me. That's right...
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Bring Mommy Back

15 September 2011
Posted by lostinsideofme   in Therapy
right now, my quandary is how to deal with my family. My brother was placed in a foster home and childrens services wont talk to me because I'm not his mom and he wasn't placed with me. And my sister is being very limited with the information she's giving me. Its killing me to know that he is out there somewhere. And to hear my sister...
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Rescue Me

13 September 2011
Posted by lostinsideofme  
Take me away from these thoughts. From these feelings. From ungrateful, inconsiderate bastards who surround me. From this pain. From this sickness. From these responsibilities. From this desire to please everyone. From everything. From this world. From this life. Please. Take me away :cry:


I don't deserve to be here.

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My dad makes me feel like spit

13 September 2011
Posted by lostinsideofme   in Therapy
He emails me asking for money to pay his bills. This after I just rented him a Uhaul truck, took off work to drive him around and help him move, then paid to get the truck out of the tow lot after her parked it illegally, and paid for his mothers funeral 2 months ago. I told him I didn't have it before and he asked again. So I say, "are...
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enraged

11 September 2011
Posted by lostinsideofme   in Randomness
Ok so idk why, but my mothers neighbors just pissed me off to the point where I want to smack them.

I'm walking to the stairs of her front door. They see me, run up the stairs and slam the door behind them as i'm coming up. I knock on the door and they come down the stairs but refuse to open the door.

they are some overly rude little...
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lostinsideofme likes this

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Guide to my world

I put up a general *TRIGGER WARNING* for all those who read. This is me being as real as I can get, trying not to hold back. Working through memories and life's challenges in the aftermath.

Contents:
Randomness tends to have the most content, but I warn you, it gets pretty random.

When I find more courage, My stories, will have more content. For now walk with my through my therapeutic adventures and rants.

School sucks, but at least its finally over.

Emotions, Memories are full of raw emotion.

Recently I've been Exploring My Sexuality

Welcome to my world.~lost~

What I'm Pondering

How do you overcome something that has been ingrained in you? Is it possible, or is it like fighting against your genes?

How on earth do turkeys get their fat asses in the air?

If I evolved from a primate, how come I've forgotten how to climb a tree?

Who can fry an egg on a sidewalk? I can barely fry an egg in a pan.

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