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Its Been A While

Posted by lostinsideofme , 12 January 2012 · 47 views

I'm back. Not refreshed, not renewed, but a little more broken.

I had to step away, everything was just taking me over. The emotions, the memories, the thoughts, I thought I was going to lose it and damn near did.

My T officially left the second week in december, So here I am being 1 month wihtout a T.
And surprisingly its not as bad as I thought it would be. I stuffed everything back into my little box, and tried to wash away the memories, fighting hard for the good stuff to come through. Its pretty much working, except I'm so full of anger.

Today I'm going to try to work up the courage to return to the psychiatrists office and ask her to start me on meds. Somethings just not right with me. I've been so depressed, I can feel it. Here it is thurday morning, and the last time I slept was Sunday night.

I had yet another injection in my hip. Only this time, it did not work out well and I've been on crutches :(. so not cool. But hopefully when the pain wears off, it will stay off.

And sigh... my sexual identity is throwing my mind for a loop. Do i like her or him? 90% says her, but that 10% is screaming at me, chose a him chose a him. I posted my struggle with this in the LGTBQ forum

Well anyways, wish me luck at my appointment today.



Guide to my world

I put up a general *TRIGGER WARNING* for all those who read. This is me being as real as I can get, trying not to hold back. Working through memories and life's challenges in the aftermath.

Contents:
Randomness tends to have the most content, but I warn you, it gets pretty random.

When I find more courage, My stories, will have more content. For now walk with my through my therapeutic adventures and rants.

School sucks, but at least its finally over.

Emotions, Memories are full of raw emotion.

Recently I've been Exploring My Sexuality

Welcome to my world.~lost~

What I'm Pondering

How do you overcome something that has been ingrained in you? Is it possible, or is it like fighting against your genes?

How on earth do turkeys get their fat asses in the air?

If I evolved from a primate, how come I've forgotten how to climb a tree?

Who can fry an egg on a sidewalk? I can barely fry an egg in a pan.

May 2015

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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.