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I used to do alot of drugs and drink every night, i loved snorting things and taking acid (i started when i was 8 while i was being sexually abused by my step dad and now im 18) the abuse stopped but i sontinued doing drugs but i stopped everything for a year and a half but tonight it was like i couldnt help but go back to it all but instead of the happy "screw the world" personality i used to have when i got high im now extremely sad and mad at myself idk y i did this to myself i dont wanna go back to who i was. i dont want my fiance to leave me and my fmily to disown me again i wanna passout or get another fix but i cant do wither without the other.