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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

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danusia007, blondie2002, SilentOnes and 2 others like this
Posted by FloweringRose  
This is NOT meant to insult. This is just me bashing on myself and no one else in their healing process is included.

I feel like dealing with all this sh*t and not repressing the memories has reduced my IQ, both emotionally and intellectually. I KNOW this doesn't make any sense; but I feel I've been so concentrated on my emotions and...
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Mental Instability? :(

26 December 2010
Posted by FloweringRose  
I am a mess, a constant blubbering mess. Looking out the window today all these thoughts raced...so real one second, not so much the next. Trying to write this now before it's lost, but still can feel it fading what I knew was true then and will be true again.

Just can't help but drift strangely through consciousness. Sometimes I feel...
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Christmas hurts, sigh

25 December 2010
Posted by FloweringRose  
People don't understand why I hate Christmas. Actually, I barely understand why I hate Christmas too... I have ideas and bad memories, but still, the repellant feeling it creates inside me is something that just seems outside of the spectrum of logic.

Everyone wants me to love Christmas. Enjoy it, be merry, have fun. I dare to say it, but...
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It's Not Us, Just Them.

24 December 2010
Posted by FloweringRose  
So slowly coming back to Pandy's as the stir of this situation with my girlfriend and the holidays slows down. We had a rough go last night, going to a party we probably were not prepared for but overall we were safe and okay. Otherwise it's been an okay few days, and was thinking of something from that party and realizing it's...
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Posted by FloweringRose  
What a holiday season huh?

Today girlfriend who is now back in my area called me in an emergency state. I was actually nervous enough I set up a safety plan with the boyfriend, in case the cops would need to get involved or if I'd be in danger. But luckily he left, thank god!! And the mom's willing to take her back for now which...
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Posted by FloweringRose  
You know, you would think living with your parents would be the most easy and natural thing in the world for people.

It doesn't feel that way for us. (P.S. very co-conscious so will almost entirely use we)

Really wish we could afford to move out, because honestly TIRED of letting down the people we live with. Burdening them, taking their...
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Venting For Us

17 December 2010
Posted by FloweringRose  
I/we need to do board duties, it's known. And promise it'll happen...but just need to get some things out.

There's a strange high and low happening in the system right now. At one point, introduced the thought that well, we survived and now let's make it for a reason. That it's good we made it, and that we have a future to...
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Posted by FloweringRose  
This time of year always sends me for a head spin. I wonder if the month of december or January will ever be happy ones for me? Perhaps...

But I guess I got what I wished for. To remember my past and deal with that rather than my ex M. It took a while, but it's here. And the dissociation has been incredibly horrible, and I get all these...
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Story of My Mind

15 December 2010
Posted by FloweringRose  
There's some things in life we don't want to survive through.

There's some things that leave us writhing in psychosis and denial, scrambling for just a taste of reality wrapped in relief. But reality is a much sharper blade than that; the flashbacks are all too much a real brand for a suffering that is otherworldly in its...
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If Only I Could Clean This

14 December 2010
Posted by FloweringRose  
I wish I was good at making things "spotless". Nothing ever seems to get cleaned around me; I'm just this magnet for messes, house messes, accident messes, personal messes, messes of all sorts.

And I scrub and scrub but nothing ever seems to get less. Sometimes it just gets more cluttered. And I get so overwhelmed, so drained of...
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danusia007, blondie2002, SilentOnes and 2 others like this

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