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A Flowering Rose


Why Does It All Seem so damn BIG!

Posted by FloweringRose , 19 June 2009 · 43 views

Does anyone feel like all the pain and disaster in their life is so massive they're suffocating under it?

I don't understand how I've made it through so many times of my life. but it's there. It existed. And it's so massive and confusing I can run little tracks in my head of all the thinking and analyzing I do. Everyday feels like an...


He Was My Hades

Posted by FloweringRose , 14 June 2009 · 70 views

He was the devil according to himself.
He called God on me. He called Hell on me. He called any force he could on me.
He played a God himself. He played me like puppets and wished the worst on me. He practically destroyed me. he ruled me with an iron fist I never thought possible for anyone to rule anyone else with. All behind a gentle smile and soft eyes...



Posted by FloweringRose , 27 May 2009 · 56 views

Because I asked the guidance teacher if I was WELCOME in MY school? MY school she wouldn't tell me exactly what they SAID ABOUT ME! There's more and she says she's "glad she didn't tell me because i have such a big mouth". ABOUT MY PERSONAL FEELINGS. About the fact they're going to...


The HeartBreak...

Posted by FloweringRose , 26 May 2009 · 69 views

I can't help it. You ache inside me. You are the sword i stuck within me, so deep since I thought you'd stay within me forever.
I laid before you, waiting for you to fill me. Instead you ran me over like roadkill.
Instead you made me spread and silenced my voice. Instead you made me meek and tired and hide. You destroyed my confidence. Remember th...


Lyrics For Me

Posted by FloweringRose , 20 May 2009 · 42 views

I wish that without me, your heart would break.
Every moment without me, your body would ache
Remember I didn't intend it to be this way... Read More
But through what you did, what you said

Here we are today...
So I lay on my bed, late at night
And I pray with all my might
That I'd forget about you
But you wouldn't forget about me
I hope it...


The Depression is full Force

Posted by FloweringRose , 15 May 2009 · 62 views

Might post might not who knows....
But I can't believe I'm saying this after everything. I'm still on the verge of calling it quits, insanity, everyday I'm struggling to wake up once again.
I can't take it. I'm diagnosed with PTSD, long term depression and DID. And it's all eating me alive.

Back to SI, back to the endless cry...


Want Support But It's Just a Vent So....

Posted by FloweringRose , 14 April 2009 · 50 views

I hate my life sometimes. A lot.

I had a nightmare this morning. One of my inners told me......told me that more happened with my dad than I know or think....responding to the p-doc and grandmother yesterday saying nothing might've (or in my grandmother's case probably) happened....so inner proceeded to show me. Proceeded to bring it up. And, is...



Posted by FloweringRose , 24 March 2009 · 74 views

I'm just so upset and frustrated. I really feel like just giving up the whole therapy idea and going at it on my own, it seems to be helping more.

Since I was perfectly fine all of today and yesterday, and I go into that room and I froze with panic. This is that same temporary therapist by the way who told me my body memories and symptoms of dissocia...


Still Living Off Your Air

Posted by FloweringRose , 09 February 2009 · 47 views

It's quiet
I'm holding air
I wish it was you still here
Instead of the sadness that's made it's way there
I close my eyes
The music begins
I can still feel your hand slide across cheeks
I wonder when this ends..
This repeat memory
Still such a sweet wretched moment
Since I still feel all of you here
And for a split in time I forget
Only to...


It's like acid...

Posted by FloweringRose , 09 February 2009 · 45 views

It's like acid down my chest...

That one's touch
His betrayal
And your cruel cruel words

You all taunt me, puppets across my mind
Voices being scratched across the black
Of trying to find sleep and peace
In the dark
Stop scratching out my void of escape
The evil demons laughing through the beams of penetrating light
I can't shut you out

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