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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

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danusia007, blondie2002, SilentOnes and 2 others like this

Trying to Honor Me

05 October 2009
Posted by FloweringRose  
Well I've come to accept that my grandmother isn't going to change no matter how nicely I try to talk to her. She's always going to talk to me in an accusing and mean way, whether she notices it or not. I've tried, I really have but she never even listens to me

So if I can accept that I can accept it's NOT my fault. And...
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Grr...Just Pissed Off Still

04 October 2009
Posted by FloweringRose  
Well. My grandmother can be a real case sometimes.

I'm REALLY REALLY sorry to say that, but I feel I must. Since I'm just aggravated and I need to get that out somewhere.

Everything is my attitude even though she's the one who comes and instigates me all the while giving me attitude even when I've stopped even defending myself....
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Feeling Really Disconnected

02 October 2009
Posted by FloweringRose  
If anyone reads this, sorry I haven't responded to replies much over the last few days. Been really sick and fell into a pretty severe state of depression, so it's been difficult to get myself to sit down and focus long enough to do anything.


I feel really really lost and dissociative, and the sickness is making my anxiety peak for some...
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Hm. Feeling All Mixed Up.

30 September 2009
Posted by FloweringRose  
I'm thinking about far too much right now and I really know I shouldn't!

I'm thinking about just how triggering a Doll's House is and that my ex-bf was far worse than her husband was and yet everyone in my class went "OMG how could she deal with this behaviour?!?!" I dealt with so much worse...oops...he used...
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Posted by FloweringRose  
Wow! Can't believe it but after an embarassing episode in T today (:( I basically shut down and dissociated for 15 minutes or something of it and kept calling my self a bad client and a big mouth) where I finally admited to her I thought our healing was going no where, we finally made a break through.

A part came out and talked to...
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Victory!

27 September 2009
Posted by FloweringRose  
I'm doing it :(

Here we go....

-This Wednesday is 11 WEEKS SI free!
-I'm eating again
-I'm running a healthy amount
-I'm going to talk to my family about arranging a new p-doc....nervous, but good
-I'm accepting my dissociation for what it is
-I'm not talking to my ex
-I'm going to go to yellow brick House about...
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Having Trouble Defining Love

25 September 2009
Posted by FloweringRose  
I think I'll post about this tomorrow. See how I feel about it then.

Ever since my two ex-s love seems...fuzzy. Unattainable. And it's strange since I think I might have it but a part of me is completely unaware and foreign to it; a part of me just can't seem to get it.

Back when my ex-bf was in the picture, love was easy to feel and...
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Posted by FloweringRose  
"I've been on the run
This shadow weighs a ton...

I'm on the run from my life
Seems everything you said was right
I've come undone, lost my sight...

But have you ever thought you've done your best when under the gun?
I know I've seen this place but it's never been much fun....

I've been on the run, my shadow...
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No, I Will Not Be Owned

20 September 2009
Posted by FloweringRose  
Thanks to the support of a bunch of people, most from Pandy's <3, I'm feeling strong tonight. So I think a strong post is in order.

NO

I am NOT your piece!

I am not a showcase for you to drape on your walls.
I am not a coat of skin you can wear for attention and special occasions.
I am not exchangeable with a price...
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Is this The End?

18 September 2009
Posted by FloweringRose  
Is this the end?
Is this where I'm dropped off the train of life, kicked to the dirt, covered in mud?
Is this where the landing is?
Dizzy, hurting, scene ends with me stumbling into nothing?
Is this really how it turns out?
No resolution, no healing?
Nothing but the endless horizon that eats all the happiness I once knew?
Isn't there some...
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danusia007, blondie2002, SilentOnes and 2 others like this

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