Just feeling off. Sad. Burning. Slightly physically sick. Just the exhausted of knowing something terrible is trying to make itself remembered but it's only half doing it, so you're foot is half there and half here, in the now.
I wonder if I'll ever make sense? Or be fixed or whole? I don't know. I know I have to call therapists soon but I'm so anxious to go back, so worried to attempt healing again.
I really have no other choice though if I want to keep this life and want everyone else inside to have a life too. It's tough though, it really is. I just want to press reset time and time again. I kind of liked it when I was ignorant to it all at 14 and now, here I am, and it's all opened so wide.
Just have to breathe. Keep pushing. We can do this as we always have