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There was this one guy C who haven't seen in a long time. And he was actually being really nice, even though he socializes with M. Which confused me, but then mine/our boyfriend pointed out that "You know, I don't think C really likes M. It's more those acquaintance things you know, like I was in with him before we dated"
And I/we realized. M was just a generally obnoxious person who turned off almost everyone he knew as time passed. Sure, they thought he was pretty cool at first; but then the constant r*pe jokes, racist remarks and general jabs while taking overexaggerated offense at everything they did got to them. And with girls, he showed a generally perverted side that we either missed at the beginning or he saved until later within our relationship. Most of his friends and family got pissed off at him, even disliking him for his behaviour. In general, he looked down on people and was just a scumbag to them.
And then dad and these men... where are they in life? They thrive off other people's pain like leeches, making profit or they don't thrive at all, instead of wallowing and cursing in their pathetic going nowhere existence. To have to r*pe another human being to feel good about yourself? That doesn't show anything bad or pathetic about the survivor, only the perpetrator who is well as low and disgusting as they come.
These men are not people to look up to; they are not people who are worth anyone's time. This is not me doing a crime against someone of great value, but men manipulating their value in my eyes for their own motives.
I/we are NOT the scum. They are. These are the people that are the problem, not us.