Ashamed of Me...
Am still too scared.
But all I can feel is the depression trying to drag me back under. It just seems to affect so much of my life. The fact people drift away...that my mind gets all foggy and I can't bring myself to write, to do work, to see people...the fact I get so dizzy can't see tomorrow. Can't see anything. The fact I feel a tool or a missed meal could solve it though I know it won't.
I'm a shame. I'm so ashamed of myself.
How can I even show this face of mine?
How can I exist with all the let downs that make up the whole of this self?
How can I even bother people with my presence? Everyone knows I'm a just well meaning person who will never amount. Who can never follow through.
Depression knocks me breathless after the first lap...
I never make it to the end.
Will I even graduate high school?
Why do I always lose my will too soon? Why am I like this?
I just hate myself right now. I just don't see the point of me right now.
I've got to hold tight.
I've got to figure this out all over again =/