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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!
There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!
There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!
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I'm not brave enough to post this in the creativity forum. I don't feel like it's worth reading...
So I'll post it here. Since I kind of do want it heard.
They say don't remember the past.
But how can you not when the past is you in so many ways? When you crawl and stink of those treacherous acts? When you never breathed a name into them before and so they just lay there, stuck in the moment before being created and released, to make rotten your soul?
How can you not when the silence is so perpetual, it echoes it all in your head? How can you not when the shame drills so deep, your heart is just a mess of guts being wrenched apart...a giant hole you keep slipping into over and over.
You tell me to forget. But I never wanted to remember.
So I just spent all the time trying to swallow it down and let the acids of my stomach do their work. But the acids of their crimes won. Now I'm just a mess; all of me touched and destroyed by the acts, those specific moments where another shard was stabbed into my soul. Everyone said bleed in; so I have. Who knew it was actually worse to bleed internally? Only my heart now that it has already done so.
Forget it they say.
I'm done forgetting. "Forgetting" has broken me into these pieces in the first place; I just want to pick it all back up and recall. I want to speak, tell my stories so that I can clear the poison out. Only then maybe will I be able to make room for the cure.
So I'll post it here. Since I kind of do want it heard.
They say don't remember the past.
But how can you not when the past is you in so many ways? When you crawl and stink of those treacherous acts? When you never breathed a name into them before and so they just lay there, stuck in the moment before being created and released, to make rotten your soul?
How can you not when the silence is so perpetual, it echoes it all in your head? How can you not when the shame drills so deep, your heart is just a mess of guts being wrenched apart...a giant hole you keep slipping into over and over.
You tell me to forget. But I never wanted to remember.
So I just spent all the time trying to swallow it down and let the acids of my stomach do their work. But the acids of their crimes won. Now I'm just a mess; all of me touched and destroyed by the acts, those specific moments where another shard was stabbed into my soul. Everyone said bleed in; so I have. Who knew it was actually worse to bleed internally? Only my heart now that it has already done so.
Forget it they say.
I'm done forgetting. "Forgetting" has broken me into these pieces in the first place; I just want to pick it all back up and recall. I want to speak, tell my stories so that I can clear the poison out. Only then maybe will I be able to make room for the cure.
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I think you should post this in the creativity forum. This is an excellent piece! It spoke right to my inner pain and put into words where I am at right now. The having to forget, the having to brush it off and get on with school, work, home.... whatever needed done.
I am sorry that you feel this deep inner pain too. It is so hard when..... well it is just so hard.
Be brave.... I heard your voice, I have validated your experience and I hope you can gain enough strength to post this where others can read it and be encouraged too.
Bless you dear one
much love
biw x