It Didn't Help...
But...it didn't help. At all. It felt good in its little way, but I was still depressed. Still sad. Still crying. It did NOTHING to make any of it better.
I don't know how that makes me feel or what that means. It's just not the usual. It kind of makes me want to slip up more and yet quit it forever. I mean if it does nothing...why even bother.
I hope this fits in a "healing" way somehow. But I'm still in so much pain. Why this is all knocking me over lately is a huge mystery to me. I guess I asked for more than I bargained for when I said I wanted to remember. I guess I need to face it some day though.
Wish me strength?