Will anyone ever love me?
I'm hurting so badly. And I spent hours last night weighing on my thoughts. Thinking how much of this pain I can put up with. I'd rather die young and happy than old and miserable. But I couldn't leave my daughter. And I kept thinking how many sleeping pills would it take. But that would be so cruel to my family. But I'm tired. I'm tired of wondering if he'll stay with me, wondering if he really DOES value our marriage at all. His words certainly don't reflect it. And I can't talk to him about it. When I do he says I'm just trying to fight. No. I'm asking for help. I'm begging for it. I'm on my knees. I'm tired of the pain. I'm tired of thinking I'm not good enough. I'm just tired of it. And I'm angry as hell that I'm starting to believe that the evil bastard was right, and that no man will ever really want me.