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cordeliaVorkosigan's Blog


Good Day Today

Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 25 February 2012 · 27 views

I visited with a friend from church today and that went very well. I talked a lot about what has happened recently and feel so much better. I also ran some errands. Today was a good day.http://www.pandys.org/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/thumbup.gif


Friend Intervenes

Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 24 February 2012 · 19 views

Well, I organized what I took of our stuff from my parent's house. My car was full. I was able to do a load of laundry too. I received an invitation to a church member's house tomorrow. No doubt it is to figure out if this situation is reconcilable. It is not. I'm not sure how this will go but I did confirm that my parents will not be there.


Unbelievable Depression

Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 23 February 2012 · 23 views

I'm getting thru the days by not thinking about my situation. All I do is cry. Tears just stream down my face no matter how hard I try not to allow it. I am waiting to hear about a job. It isn't in my field but it's a job that will get me out of this homeless mess I am in. It is my one piece of hope right now. I won't know until Wednesday...


Devastation Day 3

Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 21 February 2012 · 23 views

We've spent two nights in a homeless shelter now and have no other alternatives available. We'll be there for a while. I had an interview today. Hope I get the job but it doesn't start for a month. I will still have to get thru the next month with no income. Everything seems so hopeless right now. We don't even have clothes. I'm taking...


Homeless Shelter

Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 20 February 2012 · 22 views

Spent the night in a homeless shelter. An experience of a lifetime.



Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 19 February 2012 · 21 views

Well all my life my mother has been married to abusive husbands that beat on her and I. I thought the current one was different. I moved back home at the end of January and it's been really hard. My son and I also stayed there for a bit last summer. It's been a long haul not having stable work this last year. I just ended a 3 month contract in Jan...


Day Breaks Me Down

Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 18 February 2012 · 19 views

I find that I wake up in a good mood most days. I'm a morning person. By the end of the day, I am just exhausted and depressed. Everything bothers me. I have nothing great to talk with my SO about. I'm going to tell him to call in the mornings for a while. I am happy then and will enjoy our conversation more then. I just feel so defeated at the en...


Financial Worries

Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 17 February 2012 · 17 views

I'm not sleeping again. I need a job and I haven't had any luck.


Renewed Love

Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 14 February 2012 · 20 views

David has made some serious changes in his life and has pledged to me.We have some obstacles but we will overcome them. I am so happy now. I am elated. I'm floating off the ground as I walk. Our problems looked so dire but he just reorganized his life and now I am in his spotlight. I believe we have a beautiful future. I'm just going to take this...


Common Law Marriage

Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 12 February 2012 · 16 views

David's ex has filed for common law marriage with him. Our future just took a direct hit. If she wins, he will have to divorce her. I am lost. I have a man that I feel so safe with. I love him more than words can explain and he I. He gave me a reason to live for the first time since my home invasion and rape 3+ years ago. He hasn't been with his e...



Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 11 February 2012 · 20 views

I'm starting to believe I will never be loved. Or rather, I will never be loved in the way that I need. I was told some disturbing news this morning. I'm so completely crushed that I cannot even express how my world feels in words.


Talked to my Love

Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 10 February 2012 · 17 views

I talked with Dave for 45 minutes last night. It was great. I have been having a hard few days and today I feel so wonderful. I am almost ecstatic. I woke up this morning and made breakfast for everyone and cleaned the kitchen all while feeling like I was floating on air. I'm still in a great mood and hope it persists.



Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 09 February 2012 · 16 views

Looks like I will be getting a refund for the first time in three years. I'm excited. I need it since I'm unemployed presently. The last couple years I have broke even or paid in. This is great.

Still feel as though my relationship is becoming stagnant because we both have so many outside issues baring down on us. Life is really difficult right n...


Dark Thoughts

Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 08 February 2012 · 16 views

Feeling down today. Had some dark thoughts this morning so I made myself get out of the house and do something. I talked with a great friend. I didn't have time to have an in-depth conversation but it felt good to reach out and discuss some of my life issues. I still feel down and I'm not sure how to fix it. My life is not where it needs to be rig...



Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 07 February 2012 · 16 views

I have issues. Doesn't everyone? LOL! According to Dave, I have a very gentle heart. I have compassion where is he very hard-hearted. I get upset about how other's are treated and jump to conclusions. Ehhhh. I agree. Not sure that is something that I should change. I may just keep more to myself.


Looking Forward To Tomorrow

Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 05 February 2012 · 18 views

Seeing my other half tomorrow. I can't wait. I wish we had the whole day together but all we get is the evening. It's better than nothing. I can't wait to hear from my love tonight. I want to hear all about his big day today.

I'm visiting with my Dad tomorrow for lunch on the way to see David. I'm happy about that as well. It'll...


Great Day!

Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 04 February 2012 · 17 views

Today my son participated in his archery league. He did really well too. I'm so proud of him. My bestie called and we talked about our significant others. It was really nice to get a chance to talk to her and laugh with her. ! I wrote some poetry yesterday and it was all about how much I love my other half. I usually don't write happy poetry....


Feeling Better

Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 03 February 2012 · 17 views

Woke up today without the normal feeling of anxiety or the inability to breathe. Today has been good so far. I still had nightmares last night. I really need my own place so that I can feel secure again. The nightmares subside when I have control over my life. Insecurity runs rampant thru my life at the moment.


Anxiety is the Cause and Overwhelmed is the Result

Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 02 February 2012 · 17 views

I woke up with anxiety today. I got some huge news yesterday from my other half. His life is changing drastically which means really that our life has just changed. He did say something so sweet to me last night though. I asked him what he needed and he said he had everything he needed because he has me forever. That was perfect for the moment. It made me...


Nightmares Again

Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 01 February 2012 · 23 views

Instability in my life always brings back the nightmares. As if I do not have enough to deal with in my waking hours. Why does our subconscious do this to us? I hate it! Sleep is a necessity of life and when even that is taken there isn't much strength left in me to move forward. I have to be very careful right now not to spin my wheels or back-sl...

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