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cordeliaVorkosigan and jmsclayton like this

Safe

17 April 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
Heard this song on a Christian music channel this morning while taking my son to school. It spoke to me and so I looked up the lyrics to share. Powerful!
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To the one who's dreams are...
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Casual Sex

16 April 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
Feeling blue today. Just so very tired. Hoping for some good news about the job interview I had last week. I absolutely hate working at McD for min wage. I can't pay rent so how am I ever going to get a place for my son and me? Succumbed to the need to not feel so abandoned and had sex with a friend. I cried afterward because it wasn't the...
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Contact

13 April 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
He read the email I sent him yesterday in which I included some poetry about my heartbreak. He decided to call me. He didn't say much about it but he was nice and there was a tenderness in his voice that I hadn't heard in a while. It was the first time we talked that I didn't have tears in my eyes since the separation. I feel good. I...
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Separate Paths

13 April 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
[size="3"]When, oh when will I stop crying over the loss of my soul mate. He said he would email me today and I can't wait to get it. The last emails had good and bad news in them. I have no clue what he will put in this email. There really is no unfinished business. I imagine he will just be saying that he plans to contact me even...
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Adjusting to Change

12 April 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
Had a hard night. Cried a lot. Moving forward on a new path is extremely difficult even when you know it will be better in the end. Had an interview with IBM yesterday and then cried all night because it marks yet another move toward a different future than I wanted. Adjusting to change is so difficult. I need this job. It will jump start my...
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Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
Things are looking a little brighter in my world. I have an apartment that I will be moving into in a couple weeks or so. It's only a one bedroom. My son will have the bedroom and I will sleep in the living room. It's a severe down grade from my previous life style but it's a roof over my head. I have been working almost full time for...
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Abandoned ...

01 April 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
[font="Arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]Abandonment and feelings of being abandoned are things that have plagued my adulthood. My soul mate has abandoned me. He chooses not to help me right now and now told me he won't call for a couple weeks. I believe he just doesn't want to hear about what he won't change. I emailed...
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Working

31 March 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
Work is keeping me going. I don't think about all that is wrong in my life when at work. Positive is that a friend is fixing my car. It could take a week so I'm begging rides to work. I still cry every day over my broken heart. I lost my soul mate because he couldn't leave his past. We are all trapped in some way.

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Good & Bad

28 March 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
I am working almost full time. It's a minimum wage job but it is a step forward.

My car died. The head gasket went out.

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Update

22 March 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
Found an apartment to rent for just one month for my son and I. It is only one month but at least we are out of the homeless shelter for that month.Posted Image

My car is getting looked at tonight. I have a radiator leak. Hope it can be fixed tonight but I am so tired. I've...
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I'm a Survivor

20 March 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
Cried so much over the last three days... I never cry. It's been a devastating weekend. I'm still here. I'm going to thrive. No one keeps me down for long. I'm a survivor. Right now I may be weak but I'll rise like the lioness I am and I will move on.

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Utterly Alone

19 March 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
I've never known pain so great. I am single now. I let him deep inside and bared my soul. I let him past all my barriers. He is gone now to a life I could never be a part of. The one person who finally understood and reached in to pick me up turned around and buried me. I don't agree that knowing the love was worth the loss. I'd have...
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Love Lost?

16 March 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
Being rejected is soul crushing. I finally let someone inside. I have never loved a man like I love him. I never knew it was possible. I was with my ex husband for 12 years and never felt this way. This man is a part of me. He grabbed a hold of my hand and led me through the days last year when I didn't think I could go on anymore. He said he...
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Hired Part Time

14 March 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
I'm starting a part time job tomorrow. It's better than no income at all. It isn't enough to pay the rent on an apartment for my son and I but it is a step in the right direction. I just keep telling myself that life will get better.

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Tired

11 March 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
I need more sleep. Being homeless is draining me. I don't sleep well and have no stability. All the stress is bringing me down. Each day I try to have a good attitude. Some days are a success. Others...not so much. This morning was hard but I am looking forward to church.

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Super Saturday

10 March 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
Had a great night last night. Stayed up late talking with a friend. He told me about his childhood abuse. I'd never had a guy feel comfortable enough with me to express such a traumatic event. I've had girlfriends talk with me and I could empathize. No problem. I really didn't have much to say. I offered a listening ear and tried not...
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Spinning Wheels

09 March 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
I feel like I accomplish nothing each day. I'm getting nowhere. I need a job.

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What Path To Take

06 March 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
Trying to figure out where to take my son and start over. There is nothing I want where I am now. There are no jobs either. I am moving but i don't know what area to move to. Waiting for some inspiration.
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Giving a Helping Hand

02 March 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
I didn't get that job. Crap. We're still staying in the homeless shelter. I'm not the only mother there. I started carpooling another mother's children with mine since they go to the same school. Glad I can help her out. Our situation is bad enough. It feels great when someone gives you a hand up.

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Good Day Today

25 February 2012
Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan  
I visited with a friend from church today and that went very well. I talked a lot about what has happened recently and feel so much better. I also ran some errands. Today was a good day.Posted Image

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cordeliaVorkosigan and jmsclayton like this

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